A WrestleMania Preview, But Only The Matches @Rick_City Cares About

WrestleMania is almost here! While I'm excited about it, I haven't watched WWE TV since the Royal Rumble. I've kind of kept up by reading results and watching clips on YouTube. That said, I'm not looking forward to seven hours of WrestleMania. I mean, I'm sure it will be entertaining, but I’m also sure that I won't watch all of it.

So this is a preview of the matches I actually care about.

Becky Lynch vs Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte Flair

This Man, WWE sure screwed up the obvious Becky vs Ronda feud, didn't they? When Becky won the Rumble, it was awesome booking and I was genuinely excited. She showed up on Raw and was like “I told you I’d come back to you, Ronnie” and it was the coolest thing in the world.

Then a bunch of nonsense happened and Ronda gave up her title and Charlotte got added to the match and I think I blacked out for a while. When I came to, Charlotte had the Smackdown title and they were all simultaneously being arrested like we had three Stone Cold Steve Austins. Then, for some insane reason, the dumbest cops in the world put Ronda and Becky in the back of the same car and they got in a Simpsons-style kick fight.

And then holy shit Ronda is driving the police car!?

I’m still not sure if that segment was awful or amazing. 

Having Becky and Ronda just be bad asses who hate each other would have been so much better. 

WrestleMania main events are always better when they’re one-on-one. WrestleMania 2000 should have been Rock versus Triple H, WrestleMania 20 should have been Triple H versus Chris Benoit, and WrestleMania 30 should have been Daniel Bryan versus Randy Orton. 

However, despite all of this, I’m still excited for the match. These three women deserve to main event the show and it should be an awesome match. And, remember:

Kofi Kingston vs Daniel Bryan

In any other year, this match should main event the show. Bryan has become an incredible heel, Kofi is incredibly over, and the storyline has actually been great. They’ve made the hero of WrestleMania 30 (who we all wanted to win) into the one man that none of us want to see win at WrestleMania 35. In fact, the story has been so great that I’m waiting for WWE to screw it up (which they likely will by having Big E turn and cost Kofi the match or something).

I get that a New Day split would be a big, emotional storyline that would set things up for the future, but, as a counterpoint, just let people be happy for once. The New Day has become a rare example of real friendship, which is incredibly rare for WWE. They’re not competitive with each other, they sacrifice for each other, they work together, and they do so not because they want glory, but because they are friends. They’ve truly become the positivity that they were originally marketed them as. The world is dark and shitty enough. Just let me have this, WWE.

Kurt Angle vs Meh

I'll say a positive thing first: At least Baron Corbin is a heel who acts heelish and gets booed for being heelish. Now that that’s out of the way, I’m angry at how terribly Angle’s WWE return has been booked.

I’ve written before that he’s one of my favourite wrestlers ever and he should be considered one of the greatest of all time. But since he’s come back, WWE wasted his in-ring return on a goofy Shield cosplay joke, then they had him have a surprise son, then he did basically nothing but look foolish, and now his final match is against possibly the least interesting guy on the roster. I’m pretty sure this is all punishment for him joining TNA because Vince McMahon is a petty jerk.

It won’t even be a good match and Angle will likely lose it.

Out of all the people on the roster that could have an epic final match with Kurt Angle (AJ Styles, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, even The Undertaker or Brock Lesnar) he gets Boring Bore-bin. (You can have that epic nickname for free, internet.)

I am fully aware that Angle is no longer anywhere near his peak in terms of in-ring performance, but neither was Ric Flair and he got to retire against Shawn Michaels. Even if, somehow, WWE saves us and has someone like Cena come out and replace Corbin, the damage has been done. The hype of Angle’s final match has been a dud.

Sigh.

Okay, rant over.

I'm sure the rest of the matches will be entertaining, and the wrestling will be good (as it usually is on PPVs), but I'm not super excited about any of it. I’m pretty sure the new rule is that the show is as long as its number, so enjoy 35 hours of WrestleMania!

The 3rd Annual Hall of Shame

Welcome to the 3rd Annual Hall of Shame! It's been a wild three-years, and I'd like to thank everyone who has supported this endeavor.

Sadly, we weren't able to do a grand induction gala this year. Why? Well, you know ...we....ran into some difficulties with the venue. I'm not saying someone didn't send the check for the rental space but......Rick didn't send the check.

Anyway, we have an interesting Hall of Shame class this year, and I think you'll enjoy our list. As always, feel free to check out the other entries here.

And don't forget to stop by the gift shop on your way out! We need to move our "WHERE'S ROMAN" merchandise.

Shameful Booking: Most of The Summer of Punk

We mentioned this entry way back in our first Hall of Shame entry in 2017, and we've honestly been avoiding including it in our Hall of Shame because, to a person, we have cited Punk's Pipe Bomb promo and his subsequent match at John Cena at Money in the Bank as catalysts for us getting back into wrestling. But, how CM Punk was booked through the rest of  2011 is really rather shameful -- in fact, with a few exceptions, every moment Punk had post-Money in the Bank was shameful. And while we don't need to highlight the worst moments of the Summer of Punk -- *cough* Kevin Nash and cell phones *cough* -- we can only think of how different this could have been and SHOULD have been if the WWE would have had a bigger vision for Punk and the patience to see through a larger narrative.

Shameful Match: The Mega-Powers vs The Alliance to End Hulkamania

As Wrestling Shame's resident expert in WCW and ECW, I've struggled at times to defend some of the crappier elements of both promotions. Case in point: the booking of Hulk Hogan prior to his NWO-turn. Indeed, until his Bash at the Beach heel-turn in 1996, WCW's approach to booking Hogan was, in essence, to replicate what put Hogan over in the WWF. Shamefully, what put Hogan over in 1987 was not working in 1995 (and hell, had stopped working in the WWF by 1992), but that didn't phase WCW. One of the lowlights of this was the triple-level steel cage match at Uncensored that pitted Hogan and Randy Savage vs The Alliance to End Hulkamania (Arn Anderson, Ric Flair, Lex Luger, The Dungeon of Doom -- more on them later -- Jimmy Hart, Elizabeth, and I think the starting line-up of the Atlanta Braves). Not only was WCW recycling the Mega-Powers as a tag-team, but this match is the worst of the "Hogan wins against all odds" narrative.

Also, god this match is boring. Like, super-boring. The best part of this clip is the commentary team feigning interest -- especially Bobby Heenan when he says "oh, uh Hogan and Savage have uh powder all over the ring" -- and Dusty Rhodes desperately trying to make this seem interesting.

Shameful Wrestler / Stable: The Dungeon of Doom

Serious question: we've been doing this blog for almost three years and this is the first long mention of the Dungeon of Doom??

For those unfamiliar, the Dungeon of Doom (TDOD) was the extension of The Three Faces of Fear (also led by Kevin Sullivan), who existed to put-over Hulk Hogan (see above). And god was TDOD shameful. Imagine taking the corniest aspects of late-1980s WWF, mix-in the worst aspects of early-1990s WCW, and adding in the inventory of one of those pop-up Halloween stores.

Obviously, at some point, I need to do a feature-length piece on TDOD, but among the group's highlights / low-lights:

-The 170th different gimmick for Hall of Shame member Brutus Beefcake

-That infamous spot where Hulk Hogan goes to TDOD's lair and yells "THERE ARE NO HULKAMANICS HERE!"

-Making Vader wear a really weird, Masters of the Universe-style helmet

-The Yeti

-Re-christening John Tenta as "the Shark"

-Have I mentioned the Yeti? Because that's amazing

And this summer, I will do a Hall of Shame special exhibit on TDOD. Book it.

Shameful Promo: DX in Blackface

I hate HHH.

I hate DX.

I despise white people donning blackface.

Yeah, this is an automatic entry in the Hall of Shame.

And you're not going to see this clip in their Hall of Fame induction.

Shameful Theme Music: The Big Show

As Rick pointed out before, you can't convince us that this isn't really the theme from Roseanne.

And while we would love to hang out with The Big Show, this music is bad.

Shameful Pop Culture Moment: King Kong Bundy on Married With Children

Earlier this year, King Kong Bundy passed away. And I was reminded of not only his work with the WWE, but also his guest-starring roles on the Fox sitcom Married With Children. He actually appeared twice on the show, once in 1987 as a relative of Peggy Bundy; the second time, as himself who ends-up wresting Bud through a series of shenanigans. It's this later episode I want to induct to our Hall of Shame.

While my family and I enjoyed the show when it was on, I now look at this show with shock at 1) how bad it was and 2) how horrible the comedy is, especially toward women. And the show's regressive comedy toward women is on full-display in this episode: women are either sex-fiends or sex objects; as well, there's the standard homophobia in this episode too. So shameful, of course. But Bundy himself had already played a fictional character on the show, and was brought back to play himself. That shit happened a lot on 80s sitcoms -- especially character actors playing different roles in different seasons -- and that always bothered me.

Shameful Fans: These Guys

We have no idea who these two are, but they are pretty great right? Right?

I really hope no one figures out it's Rick and I.

Shameful Debut: The KISS Demon

If we are being honest with ourselves -- well, that might be a first -- there are probably a lot of wrestling fans who are also fans of the "band" KISS. And in the late-90s, KISS was enjoying a bit of a cultural renaissance. So, it stood to reason that WCW would try to capitalize on the nostalgic interest in a shitty band. And hence, we have the KISS Demon. Now, there's a strong case to be made for the KISS Demon to be an entry as a Shameful Wrestler -- but let's instead focus on his initial debut. In all honesty, you can just skip this clip to roughly 4:20 seconds when the Demon's casket appears. The casket -- which looks like it's from an upcoming He-Man / Stranger Things cross-over episode -- opens to reveal the Demon.

However, if you don't see this and think of This is Spinal Tap, well, we can't be friends.