Greatest Royal Rumble? More Like "Dumbest Royal Rumble"


You like that title? I'm a journalist.



Okay, I'm not, but I could have been. Maybe. Probably not. Either way, this entire event really annoys me. First of all, the name. Not only does it sound like the horrific love child of Vince McMahon and Donald Trump, but it also undermines every other Royal Rumble. Oh, what's that Shinsuke Nakamura you won the Royal Rumble in 2018? Big deal, you didn't win the GREATEST Royal Rumble in 2018. 

But, yeah... I mean, yes, technically as a wrestling fan I should be excited about this. It's a WWE super card just three weeks after the last WWE super card. We'll get to see AJ Styles VS Shinsuke Nakamura again, a Ladder match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship, Triple H VS John Cena, The Undertaker, Chris Jericho, and hopefully Brock Lesnar finally losing to Roman Reigns, but I'm still not happy.

In addition to undermining the Royal Rumble, this show also undermines WrestleMania. Not only did we only get the Nakamura heel turn AFTER his WrestleMania match with AJ Styles (as opposed to before which would have put some good heat on the match) but it looks like Lesnar beating Reigns was done almost entirely so that the title could change hands at this show.

But that isn't it.

WWE makes such a big deal about the Women's Revolution and how everything the women do is HISTORIC. Yes, it's obnoxious when Stephanie says it 30 times in a row, but it's also true. WWE should be bragging about how great their women's wrestlers are because the women are frequently the best part of the show.

At WrestleMania, Asuka/Charlotte may have been the best match of the night, Ronda Rousey was a huge hit, and Alexa/Nia had everyone talking. Plus Sasha/Bayley is a great story. And yet none of these women are on the show because WWE wants to impress a nation where they're not allowed to wrestle? I feel like the only reason the two women's title matches had clean finishes at WrestleMania was because they couldn't screwjob the endings and then have rematches at this show. Because women are not allowed to compete. (And women are only allowed to attend if they have a male guardian.)

Respecting other cultures is important, but there's a big part of me that still feels like this is all wrong.

Of course, I'm a guy, so I also feel like it's wrong for me to be the one writing this. On that note, over to Jay who I'm sure has something to say...

Hooooooo boy, Rick.
You know, what could I, a woman, possibly know about wrestling? Why are you even asking me. I have to have a man explain everything to me at all times! I only like to watch it because they're hot, right? That's why women partake in anything that's been deemed "geek" culture which suddenly exploded thanks to pop culture in modern media. I cant even escape this mentality when it comes to sports, either.

Look, I know a lot of people probably don't like my opinions when it comes to wrestling, but this pay per view event really bugs the hell out of me. Since December we've had these great things going on for women in the company. It started with the announcement of the Women's Royal Rumble, Elimination Chamber, and an, albeit badly named battle royale, we still got these pushes for women's events! Great things up and coming for women has been brought to the forefront of WWE for months now with great emphasis. However, as we know, Vince McMahon loves one thing more than he loves tits, and that's a lot of money. I don't know if I can add anything to what Rick already said. This is a giant step back for how many steps forward it's felt like, not without their individual problems.

Not only does this event undermine the entirety of Wrestlemania and the Superstar Shakeup, all the writing feels on a hold because of this event Friday, which makes it feel really really, predictable for certain match ups after superstars have been moved between the companies. Honestly, I hope this is the final straw that sends Brock back to UFC because good lord, I am sick of that guy. And I know you all are sick of Roman being "the guy" but honestly, what else is left to throw at Brock at this point? Please enlighten me who will Brock actually let Vince book against him without almost killing the guy? Unfortunately I think I clocked Brock wearing a new shirt so we're probably stuck with him through Summer Slam. I hope I'm wrong.

Im out of wine now, you're lucky.

On top of that, two superstars in particular have made a huge push for supporting the LGBT community, and as a member of the LGBT community, I shouldn't have to say how I feel about this event's location. Sonya Deville is the first openly gay woman in WWE and Finn Balor has made a huge push in selling inclusive merchandise, donating funds to GLAAD, and even using the stage of Wrestlemania to promote inclusion for everyone with people from the LGBT community in New Orleans.

Everything about this pay per view rubs me the wrong way, and I'm glad I will be stuck doing accounting work at my desk Friday afternoon, so I don't watch Finn die in a ladder match while Seth retains the IC, even though I am an idiot who bought tickets to Xtreme Rules in July.

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