Greatest Royal Rumble? More Like "Dumbest Royal Rumble"

You like that title? I'm a journalist.



Okay, I'm not, but I could have been. Maybe. Probably not. Either way, this entire event really annoys me. First of all, the name. Not only does it sound like the horrific love child of Vince McMahon and Donald Trump, but it also undermines every other Royal Rumble. Oh, what's that Shinsuke Nakamura you won the Royal Rumble in 2018? Big deal, you didn't win the GREATEST Royal Rumble in 2018. 

But, yeah... I mean, yes, technically as a wrestling fan I should be excited about this. It's a WWE super card just three weeks after the last WWE super card. We'll get to see AJ Styles VS Shinsuke Nakamura again, a Ladder match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship, Triple H VS John Cena, The Undertaker, Chris Jericho, and hopefully Brock Lesnar finally losing to Roman Reigns, but I'm still not happy.

In addition to undermining the Royal Rumble, this show also undermines WrestleMania. Not only did we only get the Nakamura heel turn AFTER his WrestleMania match with AJ Styles (as opposed to before which would have put some good heat on the match) but it looks like Lesnar beating Reigns was done almost entirely so that the title could change hands at this show.

But that isn't it.

WWE makes such a big deal about the Women's Revolution and how everything the women do is HISTORIC. Yes, it's obnoxious when Stephanie says it 30 times in a row, but it's also true. WWE should be bragging about how great their women's wrestlers are because the women are frequently the best part of the show.

At WrestleMania, Asuka/Charlotte may have been the best match of the night, Ronda Rousey was a huge hit, and Alexa/Nia had everyone talking. Plus Sasha/Bayley is a great story. And yet none of these women are on the show because WWE wants to impress a nation where they're not allowed to wrestle? I feel like the only reason the two women's title matches had clean finishes at WrestleMania was because they couldn't screwjob the endings and then have rematches at this show. Because women are not allowed to compete. (And women are only allowed to attend if they have a male guardian.)

Respecting other cultures is important, but there's a big part of me that still feels like this is all wrong.

Of course, I'm a guy, so I also feel like it's wrong for me to be the one writing this. On that note, over to Jay who I'm sure has something to say...

Hooooooo boy, Rick.
You know, what could I, a woman, possibly know about wrestling? Why are you even asking me. I have to have a man explain everything to me at all times! I only like to watch it because they're hot, right? That's why women partake in anything that's been deemed "geek" culture which suddenly exploded thanks to pop culture in modern media. I cant even escape this mentality when it comes to sports, either.

Look, I know a lot of people probably don't like my opinions when it comes to wrestling, but this pay per view event really bugs the hell out of me. Since December we've had these great things going on for women in the company. It started with the announcement of the Women's Royal Rumble, Elimination Chamber, and an, albeit badly named battle royale, we still got these pushes for women's events! Great things up and coming for women has been brought to the forefront of WWE for months now with great emphasis. However, as we know, Vince McMahon loves one thing more than he loves tits, and that's a lot of money. I don't know if I can add anything to what Rick already said. This is a giant step back for how many steps forward it's felt like, not without their individual problems.

Not only does this event undermine the entirety of Wrestlemania and the Superstar Shakeup, all the writing feels on a hold because of this event Friday, which makes it feel really really, predictable for certain match ups after superstars have been moved between the companies. Honestly, I hope this is the final straw that sends Brock back to UFC because good lord, I am sick of that guy. And I know you all are sick of Roman being "the guy" but honestly, what else is left to throw at Brock at this point? Please enlighten me who will Brock actually let Vince book against him without almost killing the guy? Unfortunately I think I clocked Brock wearing a new shirt so we're probably stuck with him through Summer Slam. I hope I'm wrong.

Im out of wine now, you're lucky.

On top of that, two superstars in particular have made a huge push for supporting the LGBT community, and as a member of the LGBT community, I shouldn't have to say how I feel about this event's location. Sonya Deville is the first openly gay woman in WWE and Finn Balor has made a huge push in selling inclusive merchandise, donating funds to GLAAD, and even using the stage of Wrestlemania to promote inclusion for everyone with people from the LGBT community in New Orleans.

Everything about this pay per view rubs me the wrong way, and I'm glad I will be stuck doing accounting work at my desk Friday afternoon, so I don't watch Finn die in a ladder match while Seth retains the IC, even though I am an idiot who bought tickets to Xtreme Rules in July.

Quick #WrestleMania 34 Thoughts by @Rick_City

So, at the risk of turning in my "cynical old man card," I'll say this: WrestleMania 34 was pretty fun!

I didn't watch the preshow, but the main show was quite entertaining, despite being very long. To be honest, though, once it started approaching 11pm, it was hard to stay engaged. What can I say, I'm an old, tired man.

I liked the opener and Seth Rollins winning the IC was fun. I hope he has a good feud with Finn Balor over it.

My mouth literally dropped open when Asuka tapped out. And I'm not saying "literally" in the cool, Millennial way that actually means "figuratively." I mean literally. I sat there with my mouth open for a second or two. I'm fine with it though, because it keeps Charlotte over as a dominant champion and it's not like Asuka is ruined or anything.

I'll admit that I used the US title match as an opportunity to get some food and drinks, so I didn't actually see Jinder win, but good for him. He was pushed WAY too fast when he became WWE Champion, but a US Title run is fine for him.

Angle and Rousey vs HHH and Stephanie was just plain fun. I like the symbolism of Stephanie getting her own motorcycle for their entrance this year. Ronda was over and she did a very good job in her first match. Stephanie and HHH were great and not annoying, and Kurt Angle was Kurt Angle, which is always great. I liked this match way more than I thought I would.

I skipped most of the short SmackDown tag title match. Sorry.

Undertaker coming back and squashing Cena doesn't sound good on paper, but it worked. I could have done without the humiliation of Elias though. Taker has had a string of bad WrestleMania performances and this redeems him in a way. It either sets him up to keep wrestling or it gives him a good send off. Both are good options. I'm also interested to see what happens with John Cena's character now. He was pretty annoying during this whole angle, so what will happen now?

Daniel Bryan's return was fun and a definite feel good moment. I was bored by the first ten minutes of "look how tough Shane McMahon is" but, when Bryan got into the ring, it was good.

Nia Jax beating Alexa Bliss was the perfect way to end that storyline. Jax looks good, Bliss looks wrong, and we have a new champion. Perfect.

AJ Styles versus Shinsuke Nakamura was good, but this is where I started feeling really tired, so I'm probably judging it a bit harshly. Nakamura's heel turn after the match was excellent though. I just wish the crowd had let him really turn heel instead of cheering him, but the crowds don't let anyone actually be a good heel anymore.

Nicholas should have refused a tag and turned heel on Braun Strowman. This was a fun segment/match. Nicholas is now the youngest WWE champion. Sorry, Rene Dupree.

Lesnar defeating Reigns was a shock, but the match itself was boring. The crowd, who had been there for hours and hours at this point, lost interest and the match did nothing to bring them back into it. I don't know what WWE is going to do with Lesnar going forward, but I hope it's not three months off, followed by some suplexes and F5s, and then another extended break. I feel like he's almost certainly going to break CM Punk's 434-day title reign, primarily because he's never on the show. We'll see.

Overall, good show. Very long, but good. There's small stuff I could complain about, but nothing incredibly major. Nice work, WWE.

WrestleMania 34 Preview & Predictions: Part Two

If you missed part one, HERE YOU GO!



Oh God, WrestleMania is going to be long. So, so long. But we will endure. Remember, if we survive and watch the entire show, we get to see Roman look strong.

WWE Raw Women's Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax

Jay: I wish I had some kind of snarky comment but I don't. These women deserve better than this garbage story, but I would like to see Nia with the belt.

JDP2: Alexa retains through cowardice.

Rick: I have a bad feeling about this match. Alexa has been playing the "evil bully who says horrible things" role and the only way to book this properly is to have her be beaten cleanly by Nia. I feel like heels are allowed to be terrible as long as they lose in the end and their actions are obviously portrayed as terrible.

That said, I think the other three major titles will all change hands at this show, so I can see WWE keeping the belt on Alexa here. And that would be a really bad decision.

This whole situation reminds me a bit of Triple H vs Booker T at WrestleMania XIX. Triple H was a horrible person who said horrible things. The only way to redeem that storyline would have been to have him lose cleanly to Booker T. Of course we know what happened.

Now that I've compared Alexa Bliss to "Reign of Terror" Triple H, I have to go cry for a while.

WWE SmackDown Women's Championship
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Asuka

Jay: BREAK THE STREAK. BREAK THE STREAK. BREAK THE STREAK.

JDP2: If Charlotte wins, we riot.

Rick: There's no way Charlotte wins. Not even WWE would book that.


WWE Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Jay: I cant wait for condescending tweets from hipster wrestling fans who knew these guys before their careers in WWE. Shut up. We know, you're a huge loser.

JDP2: I don't know who will win, but I do know this: we will get annoyed by the fans chanting "This is awesome" and "Fight forever" throughout the match.

Rick: Oh God the fans are the worst. There's going to be a "This is awesome" chant before the match even happens.

This match could be incredible, but it could also get "SmackDown Major Championshipship at WrestleMania" treatment, be buried halfway through the card, and only get like 15 minutes. From a brief look, it appears to me that the SmackDown world title has only closed WrestleMania twice (WrestleMania XXIV - Edge vs Undertaker, and WrestleMania XIX - Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar) so I don't expect WWE to give this match much. But Nakamura wins.

It DID look pretty cool...

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns

Jay: GIRL BYE DONT LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT. GOOD RIDDANCE. I love Roman and I am so happy for him. Cry, fanboys. Cry.

JDP2: I saw someone online suggest that Brock will sign his UFC contract mid-match, and then leave. I'm going with that scenario.

Rick: WWE has finally done it. They've made me want to see Roman win, but only because that means suplex-suplex-suplex-rest-suplex-suplex-suplex Brock will lose the title and maybe the Universal Champion will actually be in matches sometimes. So, congratulations WWE, you finally got what you've wanted since WrestleMania 31.

I hope Carmella cashes in and steals the title.

*DONG* 

I! AM! AMERICAN BADASS!!!!!

Show closing BikerTaker/Cena segment to send the fans home "happy."

WrestleMania 34 Preview & Predictions: Part One

It's WrestleMania! That means we're half excited, half dreading to see how WWE will screw this up. There are approximately 200 matches on this card, which will likely take about ten hours to complete, so we've split this post into two. The second part will feature the major men's and women's title matches for each brand.

WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal

Jay: I think its gonna play a lot on Sasha and Bayley and thats one of my favorite stories right now.

JDP2: "The winner of this Battle Royal will now receive the Ilse Koch Memorial Trophy. Surely no one can find issue with that!" -- WWE management

Rick: Wait, wait wait... Sasha Banks versus Bayley isn't going to be a one-on-one match on this show!?!? That's ridiculous, but I guess something needed to be cut to make time for Triple H's entrance. As for this match, the winner will probably be the Fabulous Moolah, somehow.



André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Jay: Curt Hawkins, baby!

JDP2: The real winner will be us because none of us will remember who won this within a week.

Rick: Does anyone else feel bad for Andre the Giant at this point? Like... he deserves better.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Jay: WHERE'S MY POWERPOINT PRESENTATION, VINCENT. WHERE IS IT?
This is a match of two faces, but I beg you to watch it, because these two are amazing performers. Please stop sleeping on the Cruiserweights.

JDP2: So I don't watch 305 Live or whatever it's called, so I'm clueless on this match. But both these guys have names that sound like the generic jobber wrestlers from the 1980s. Ali for the win then.

Rick: *Sleeping on the Cruiserweights*


WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and/or Xavier Woods) vs. The Bludgeon Brothers (Harper and Rowan)

Jay: I'd like Tyler and Fandango to arrest the hillbillies.

JDP2: I'm still holding out hope the BWO makes an entrance here.

Rick: Probably the Bludgeon Brothers, because the Usos and New Day have already won the tag belts 27 times each.


WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Braun Strowman and Mystery Partner

Jay: I like Brain Stowman to be honest. I want one of two things. Lars Sullivan to make his debut from NXT, or Neville's return on the main roster with Braun.

JDP2: Braun Strowman is great. There's no way the WWE can screw this up!

*Ron Howard in Arrested Development: "They screwed it up."

Rick: I've heard Bray Wyatt or Dean Ambrose rumours about the mystery partner. I hope it's Wyatt and they win the tag belts, and I hope Harper and Rowan win the other tag belts, and the Wyatts reform as something actually cool and tough and menacing. Who am I kidding? There's no way WWE lets that happen. The mystery partner will be Kid Rock or something.


Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

Jay: Typical McMahon shit show, but I am so happy for Daniel.

JDP2: Calling it: they will try to turn Daniel Bryan heel by turning on Shane.

Rick: Daniel Bryan returning to the ring at WrestleMania in the same stadium he won the title is an incredible story. So, of course, WWE will focus on Shane McMahon.

Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon

Jay: I win this match because I'm muting the television and shoving pizza in my face.

JDP2: On the one hand, Rousey will draw too much attention to NOT go over here. On the other, I think they are building a "McMahon vs Austin" narrative here with Steph and Ronda, so I suspect that Stephanie and HHH will win here to advance a long-term booking plan (LOL, no -- it's because I don't trust either one of them).

Rick: Ronda turns heel on Kurt and joins the reformed Authority, because evil authority figure McMahons are what the kids are screaming for in 2018.

Speaking of things the kids love in 2018, here's a performance by WWE Hall of Famer, and future Senator, Kid Rock!!!

John Cena vs. The Undertaker

Jay: Why is Taker out there in the ring all by himself?

JDP2: I can't see Taker wrestling any more after this, so he should give the win to Cena. But Taker is going to win this match -- and I can't say I like the idea.

Rick: I don't like this idea either. Undertaker's "last match" was perfect. What's the point of him coming back? To lose to Cena or, even worse, to beat Cena? Also, I feel like the rumours pointing to the return of the "American Bad Ass" are true. Yes, that would make sense considering he left his "Deadman" gear in the ring last year but, no, I don't want to see it.

Ten bucks says they don't have a "match" but something like a "confrontation" so Roman can still be the guy who retired the Undertaker. Maybe Roman will come out and retire Cena too.

WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Bálor

Jay: Do you even know me? How dare you even ask me.

JDP2: Honky Tonk Man.

Rick: The Miz is my hero. But never cheer him. Ever. Let us have ONE heel who is actually booed. I'm going to go with Finn here, because it gives him something to do other than not get a rematch for the Universal Title that he never lost.


WWE United States Championship
Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev

Jay: Happy Rusev Day. yinz.

JDP2: The winner of this match will have facial hair.

Rick: Why is Randy Orton still a thing?

Stay tuned for part two. We can do this, everyone. We can get through this.

NXT Takeover New Orleans Preview

A live look at me, hearing there is Takeover this weekend.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm most excited this weekend for NXT Takeover. These matches are always the most intense and this time around we get a ladder match!

Ember vs Shayna: I sincerely love to watch these two and I love watching Ember be the women's division protector. Its a cool story about two women who want to be at the top.

Undisputed Era vs Dusty Rhodes winners: Its Tuesday, but I think they retain against what is hopefully Dunne and Strong. WELP. Its Thursday and as I skip the best Wrestlemania Events on USA for RuPaul's Drag Race on VH1, I found out last night this is a triple threat tag team match including the Authors of Pain. Fun part about this match is either, Adam Cole participates in two matches, or lets his partner fend for himself. I'd really like to see the unlikely tag team of Strong and Dunne win, but I feel like unfortunately the Authors of Pain Plagiarism come out on top.

Andrade vs Aleister: This is going to be amazing. Two of the best wrestlers in the company face off for the Men's Championship. I admit I am super biased in this match and I would love to see Aleister get that title. Zelina is going to play a huge factor as always, and I hope Mrs. Wrestling has Aleister's back.

Johnny Gargano vs Ciampa: This is a six star match and one of the best stories in wrestling regardless of what Dave Meltzer says. Bite me.

North American Championship match: Ladder match!!!  EC3, Riccochet, Lars Sullivan, Adam Cole, Velveteen Dream, and Killian Dain are going to get wild. I expect that old rivalry with Sanity to stir up Nikki Cross against Adam Cole to help out Killian. Adam loses 3 more lives this match and gets the belt. 

The Second Annual Wrestling Shame Hall of Shame

Wow, has it been a year? It has! It's time for our Second Annual Hall of Shame! Here we celebrate the shameful legacy of professional wrestling in all its forms. Need to catch-up? Check out our Inaugural Class here and our special summer exhibits of Shameful WCW Themes and Shameful WWE themes!

And remember to stop by the gift shop on your way out! And why not become a member of the Hall of Shame for the low-low price of $100.00 for one year! You'll get....uh....a mug? Maybe a pin? Oh, and you'll get a cool membership card where you get discounts at Merv's House of Waffles. Remember, "If It's Not Merv's, They Ain't Waffles!"

Also, for those eagle-eyed readers out there, yes, we've changed our top photo. Let's just say there was something wrong with it.....hmm. Not sure if you can catch it.

Those responsible for this have been sacked.

Shameful Booking: Bret Hart in WCW.

Ho boy. Ho boy.

We almost didn't include this in our list this year because it falls on the tragic-end of the shameful spectrum. A lot of this storyline was complicated by Owen Hart's death and Bret's own injury problems. Nevertheless, in the fall of 1997 WCW had a wrestler who was just screwed-out of the championship of the rival company and....well, let's just say it was underwhelming at best.

If you need a fresher of this booking, check out Wrestling With Wregret's great overview above.

For starters, you have the botched-introduction of Bret at Starcade 1997. Then you have him joining / not-joining the NWO. Then you have him getting nearly kicked-out of his skull by Goldberg. Then you have him joining NWO 2000. Then....You know what: this is too depressing.

Shameful Wrestler: Brutus Beefcake

I don't think I can adequately overview Brutus Beefcake's career in a short paragraph or two, but I think you would be hard-pressed to find a wrestler of his fame who had more whacky-story-lines and gimmicks. Who can forget his tag-team work with Hulk Hogan against Randy Savage and Zeus post-No Holds Barred? Or his feud with the Honky Tonk Man where George "The Animal Steele" in drag helped Beefcake? Not ringing a bell? What about the Mega-Maniacs? The Butcher in the The Three Faces of Fear? (Gosh, I need to write about that: WCW in the early '90s was freaking-crazy). If that doesn't work for you, I could remind you of The Zodiac in the Dungeon of Doom or The Booty Man. And that's not even mentioning The Disciple.

So, to be blunt, the man had a lot of hats in his career. And the vast majority of them alternated between legit and goofy-shameful: Beefcake would gain some legitimacy with one gimmick, and then be punted into a comedy role in short-order. Part of his longevity was because of his life-long friendship with Hulk Hogan, but I suppose we can also give him credit for a willingness to embrace newer, weirder, and crazier roles throughout his career.

Plus, it was on one of his barber-shop segments where Shawn Michaels turned on Marty Jannetty.

Shameful Match: HHH vs Sting at Wrestlemania

We've written about this before. But it bears repeating that this match was awful and did no one any favors. Even if you are a fan of this match, ask yourself this: does any element of this match make any sense? Why are Sting and HHH fighting over the legacy of WCW? Why is the WWE so obsessed with WCW -- a company they put out of business in 2001? Why does HHH need a Terminator entrance? Why does anyone care about DX in 2015? Why is the NWO coming down to help Sting? And why does HHH have to put himself over here?

I actually think I have answers to these questions, and once the semester is over for me I'm going to delve into them in a post. But for now, god this match is uber-shame.

Shameful Legacy Match: King of the Road Match

I'm stretching the concept of "legacy" match here a bit admittedly (last year, we inducted the weird Shark Cage Match), but this match between Dustin Rhodes and Blacktop Bully just begs to be included.

This was the opening match from 1995's WCW Uncensored in Tupleo, MS, and it came at a weird time for the company. In 1994 and early 1995, they were trying to balance "family-friendly" entertainment with a "harder" edge to their storylines and matches. But after some brutal Nasty Boys matches and the "Ric Flair is dead?" hotline promo, Ted Turner ordered the company go PG.

The premise of this match is one of the men has to ring a bell at the edge of the flatbed while moving at "55 miles per hour" down a highway. The match basically consists of them stumbling through hay for about 15 minutes while occasionally punching each other. Kudos to the announcers as Bobby Heenan provides some great zingers, and Tony Schiavone's repeated line of "the WCW helicopter" kills me every time.

Another element to the shame of this match is the actual bout was nearer 25 minutes long, but had to be edited down to 13 because both wrestlers bladed and drew blood which allegedly lead to their firing (although some sources suggest that WCW management was actually being forced to cut spending dramatically and this was a convenient excuse).

Shameful Promo: Suffering Succotash

I honestly had never seen this promo until I starting writing this post. Sure it's bad because of the "suffering succotash" line, but it's also bad because both Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns are terrible here. I've seen community theatre actors say their lines more effectively.

OH JESUS GOD -- DID HE WINK AT THE CAMERA?

CM Punk could get away with acknowledging the fourth-wall in a Marx Brothers / Simpsons-esque manner. Roman --- sigh --- girl, what are you doing?

Shameful Entrance Music: "American Made"

Last summer, many of you visited our special exhibit "Shameful WCW Theme Songs." Thanks for visiting -- by the way, merchandise is now 15 percent off -- and a lot of you asked why we didn't include "American Made" in the exhibit. To be fair, we meant to include it but we were afraid of being sued by Hogan. In any event, here it is. It's shameful because not only are the lyrics cheesy, but also it's a blatant rip-off of "Real American" from WWF (which incidentally wasn't supposed to be Hogan's theme song originally).

I still argue Rick and I should use a version of this song for the theme for our podcast.

Next year, I swear.

Shameful Fan: Beach Ball Fans

Any fan who brings a beach ball to a WWE event has now made the Hall of Shame. You do not get a jacket, ring, or your bust in our Hall.

Shameful Pop Culture Event: The Wrestler (1974)

One of the new categories we've added this year, the Shameful Pop Culture Event is meant to recognize those moments where wrestling has failed at crossing-over with mainstream popular culture. And this year's inductee is 1974's The Wrestler -- a terrible film that focuses on Verne Gagne's AWA. If you've never seen this film, the premise is....well, let's let Wikipedia do our work here:

"Professional wrestling promoter Frank Bass (Ed Asner) has to deal with the pressures of running a professional wrestling promotion, facing the pressures of constantly finding new wrestlers to pull in the crowds, keeping the wrestlers he has under contract under control and especially dealing with the fact that the top man, the champion of "the League" Mike Bullard (Verne Gagne) is getting old and there is pressure to replace him with a younger wrestler. One such possible replacement is the latest challenger Billy Taylor (Billy Robinson). At one point Bass meets with a number of other wrestling promoters (played by real life wrestling promoters from the National Wrestling Alliance, including Vincent J. McMahon) to possibly create a "Super Bowl of Wrestling." Facing pressure Frank Bass decides to back Bullard as he faces the challenger Billy Taylor in the climax of the movie.

The resulting film is an odd combination of a kayfabe world where wrestling is completely legitimate -- mobsters think they can influence of the outcome of matches for gambling purposes --- and where wrestling is seemingly a joke: there's an extended sequence where Dusty Rhodes gets into a bar-fight with Japanese mobsters (I think? I saw the movie drunk, so my memory is fuzzy). The film is, in essence, really an excuse to put-over Verne Gagne (because of course it is), but it's a fascinating (if boring) study of professional wrestling during the early 1970s. Also, it's pretty shameful. 

Shameful Merch:

Another new category this year. And yes, we ARE putting-ourselves over here. What can we say? We've spent way too much time thinking about Verne Gagne and HHH.

It's available at:
https://teespring.com/wrestling-shame-where-s-roman#pid=2&cid=2397&sid=front

Shameful Debut / Entrance: "Fake" Razor Ramon and Diesel 

In 1996, I was a teenager working concessions of the Hersheypark Arena, the former home of the AHL's Hershey Bears. And as an avid wrestling fan, I was thrilled to get to work one night in September when the WWF held Monday Night Raw live at our arena.

After my shift ended around 9pm, I found my friend Scott sitting in the stands, and he filled me in that a bunch of ECW guys had "invaded" the arena and had been chased-out by security. As I sat by him, Jim Ross completed the promo above, and Razor Ramon entered the arena...

Only, Razor Ramon was in WCW.

And that clearly wasn't Razor Ramon.

And the crowd was --- confused? Bewildered? Silent?

By now, most everyone is aware of Vince McMahon's idea to replace Scott Hall and Kevin Nash -- formerly Razor Ramon and Diesel respectively -- with two different wrestlers playing the characters because the WWF still owned the copyrights on said characters. Part of their end game was to sue WCW (it's complicated) but I'm still not sure of their end-game here (to be honest, I'm not sure what their end-game is most of time). But these debuts went over about as well as the Shockmaster.

Fake Diesel and Razor Ramon are bizarre, weird, and wonderfully shameful.

Where's the Burn Book?

For Women's History Month, we got Mean Girls on the Raw Roster.
Really?
I'm here to get real. Nitty gritty real.

This is a tough one to write, I admit. I'm an adult woman who can't think of a time in her life when I wasn't constantly worrying about my appearance. Ive never been thin, even when I was in the best shape of my life before being diagnosed with kidney failure at age 26. I have been active in athletics all my life from soccer to swimming, and still had a voice in my head telling me I don't fit the standard that is constantly pushed in media. We often ask ourselves if we're enough- pretty enough, thin enough, quiet enough, loud enough, strong enough, worth enough, etc. Yet, here we are watching Alexa Bliss mock her best friends body size and value as a person on tv. Alexa herself said in the past she struggled with eating disorders and being bullied, while Nia Jax openly wept on Total Divas about being bigger and tall and standing out. Previously Mickie James was the target of old lady jokes and fat jokes like Piggy James. During March there was backlash for naming the women's Battle Royale after Moolah (and rightfully so) to have it rebuked. So why when the WWE pushes for women being strong and powerful and making history and paving the way for young girls, do they throw these best friends into this garbage storyline that these women have history with? And that doesn't even include how they write Alexa treating Asuka. When Asuka debuted to make her decision to face Charlotte, Charlotte had nothing but praise for Asuka as a competitor and her talent. Bayley and Sasha are feuding it out beautifully over friendship and feelings and claiming to be the better wrestler. Absolution and the Riott Squad are trying to prove they're better than anyone who is on the current roster and shake it up. So why does it come down to this?

I understand we don't live in a perfect world where we're free from putting each other down or hearing hurtful names, but when the WWE wants to push women as a revolution, this is not the way to do it.

Ladies, I've read your stories, your pasts, and your feelings. We're all in this together. Women come in different shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, and sexualities, and the world is a better place when we accept that about each other and lift each other up. I'm grateful I have good women in my life, and I hope you do too.