Top V Hockey and Pro Wrestling Moments Part II

Well, the first round of the NHL playoffs are done, and perhaps you're celebrating your team's win. Or your're angry at your team's first round exit. Or your're a Capitals fan and  you're just awaiting the inevitable embrace of death that occurs to your team in spring.

Whatever the case may be, it's time for Part two of our Top V Hockey and Wrestling moments. You can read part one here, and feel free to complain to me about my picks. I was a referee for 10 years. I can handle your criticism.

5. Dave Schultz: Referee

Let's be honest: if you were running a wrestling show in Philadelphia and wanted some cross-over promotion with legitimate athletes, Dave "The Hammer" Schultz would be at the top of your list. Or nearly every single Philadelphia Flyer who played for the team from 1973 to 2004.

With that in mind, Schultz was commissioned by WCW to referee the Nasty Boys / Kevin Sullivan & Catcus Jack tag-team battle at Slamboree in 1994.

The only online copy of the video I can find is via DailyMotion, but it begins with a competent promo from Schultz wherein he declares the match "will be by the rules" and that "the Hammer will be watching!"

Of course, it's a no rules match, so Schultz doesn't really do anything here -- save for interfering in the match and kicking the crap out of one of the Nasty Boys and doing a horrible 3-count.

This match took place not long before Cactus Jack would begin to appear more full-time in ECW (and not long before their re-branding as Extreme Championship Wrestling), so Mick Foley gets a number of good pops from the Philadelphia crowd here. Also of note: ECW super fan "Straw Hat Guy" John Bailey is in attendance at the Philadelphia Civic Center to watch the event.

4. CM Punk Gets Attacked by Bailey:
CM Punk is pretty much the singular reason I got back into professional wrestling in 2011 and 2012. Despite what you may think, I like his politics, and I admire any wrestler who tries to find a career path outside of the WWE, so I have a soft-spot for the guy.

Also, the best wrestling GIFs are CM Punk GIFs; don't @ me.

That said, I can't believe he let the Kings' mascot sneak up on him like this. I mean, keep your head on a swivel Punk. 

Mascots are the worst.

But I do love how Punk (I think) means to say "Marty McSorley" instead of "Luc Robitaille" when he's detailing how #99 let others fight for him. I mean I saw Luc Robitaille fight and it wasn't pretty. Way to botch Punk.

3. WWF Ice Hockey Shootout
I have so many questions.

As  you can tell by the commercial featuring "Mean" Gene Okerland, for a time in the early 1990s, the WWF / E produced a slot-hockey / table-hockey game featuring six heel and six face wrestlers. And for the record, here's the lineup:

"The Model" Rick Martel
Jake "The Snake" Roberts
Sgt. Slaughter
Mr. Perfect
Randy Savage
Jim Duggin
Earthquake
Tugboat
Million Dollar Man
Big Boss Man
Ultimate Warrior
Hulk Hogan

I've gotta say, that's not a good looking lineup. I mean Earthquake, Big Boss Man, and Tugboat? Not a lot of mobility there. I mean Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect would be good, but Sgt. Slaughter will be a Corsi nightmare.

And the fact that players dish the puck to Hogan in the ad is a clear allegory for WWF booking at the time.

But like most things associated with wrestling, my bigger question with this is "why?" I have this vision of a board meeting in Stamford where Vince is berating an employee when Shane enters the boardroom wearing a Whalers' jersey. Vince says "GOD DAMMIT, PUT HOGAN ON ICE -- THE KIDS WILL LOVE IT!"

In any event, I'm sure a lot of people lost their jobs over the failure of this toy. And now I'm sad.

2. Peter Taglianetti's Horrible Promo
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about the bizarre Stars and Stripes Body-Slam Challenge in 1993 where professional atheltes and various WWF Superstars attempted to body-slam Yokozuna on the USS Intrepid. The NHL's contribution to this event was former Penguin and Jet tough-guy defenseman Peter Taglianetti. Like most of the athletes, his attempt to body-slam Yokozuna was pretty futile, but I wanted to instead focus on his promo -- which begins at the 1:45 mark in the video above.

Have you watched it? Did you miss it? It's short.

I don't understand why Taglianetti uses the word "athlete" instead of the proper plural "athletes." Is this a regionalism I'm not aware of? Is this a WWE-penned dig at French Canadians? Am I overthinking this?

I'd also like to point out that Taglianetti declares that Yokozuna might be "as big as a horse, but smells like a camel." On the one hand, this seems like an odd insult. On the other, I cannot help but wonder if this "insult" is a carryover from Gulf War-era American rhetoric -- which will still can see today -- wherein speakers use stereotypical images of the Middle East (Southwest Asia is more accurate and less Euro-centric) to "other" anyone who appears to be "non-American." In this case, an American "others" a Japanese character (portrayed by a Samoan American man) by equating him with Middle East attributes.

Again, I might be overthinking this. But I like my analysis nonetheless.

Also, Taglianetti first appeared in the NHL with the Winnipeg Jets under John Ferguson's watch, so maybe Ferguson gave Taglianetti a few pro wrestling pointers?

1. Mr Perfect and Mike Modano 
Could it be anything else? It has to be Curt Henning's goal-tending.

In the early 1990s, Mr. Perfect (RIP) appeared in a series of vignettes where he would excel at golf, baseball, basketball, etc. and do them perfectly. In this clip, he stars with a very young Mike Modano, tending goal of the "Minnesota North Stars" (I guess they couldn't clear the trademark of the North Stars, hence the template unis?) and he keeps every shot away with the skill we'd expect from one of the best wrestlers of all time.

Also of note: Modano's voice is so high-pitched here, it's charming.

Also of note: my daughter wants to be a goalie, and she loves this clip.

The less said about this clip, the better because it's fantastic.

So that's it! Our second Top V moments where hockey and wrestling intersected. Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments or via Twitter or Facebook. And go Preds!

Top V Hockey and Pro Wrestling Moments Part I

If you follow either Rick or I on Twitter (and if you do, I apologize), you'll know that aside from complaining about politics or making Simpsons references, we love two things: hockey and pro wrestling. And even though Rick is a Penguins fans (and Maple Leafs bandwagoner) and I'm a Flyers fan, we get along quite well.

We even interact with some Capitals fans online! Hey Becca, Scotty, and RM Cooper! Indeed, we all can get along!

And given that the NHL playoffs are in full-swing, I figured it was time to do a Top V dedicated to some shameful moments when hockey and pro wrestling intertwined.

For my purposes, I'm not addressing things like the "Goon" or Chris Jericho's dad, but instead I'll try to stick to moments when wrestlers and hockey players entered the other "world" with shameful / hilarious / or perfect moments. #Spoilers

Also, I soon realized that I had more than V good moments here, so I'll do a sequel post next week.

5. John Ferguson, Referee
John Ferguson is often considered the first "enforcer" in NHL history, as he was charged with protecting Jean Beliveau from the Ted Green's of the hockey world in the 1960s. After his retirement, Ferguson -- often considered one of the toughest fighters in NHL history -- moved into coaching and management, eventually becoming GM of the original Winnipeg Jets.

In November of 1985, Ferguson was tabbed by the AWA to referee the heavyweight championship match between Rick Martel and Boris Zukov in Winnipeg. In the clip, we don't get a sense of how well Ferguson was received by the Winnipeg crowd, but I presume he got a pop.

By the way, the Jets made the playoffs that spring by finishing 3rd in the Smythe Division with a 27-47-7 record. One of the best things about hockey in the 1980s was half the teams in the playoffs (aside from the Patrick Division) had losing records.

Ferguson's approach to reffing is mostly to hang onto the ropes, test the ropes, or look exasperated. I'm sure he's thinking "god I could kick both their asses easily." That said, his pin count is really bad. Like really bad.

4. The HBK Hockey Night in Canada Opening

Last season, the en vogue line in hockey was the HBK line of the Pittsburgh Penguins. And inevitably, the real HBK -- Shawn "The Heart Break Kid" Michaels -- got wind of this, and embraced the Pittsburgh Penguins and their playoff run. 

Now, while that's pretty cool, what's shameful is the HNIC opening featuring Shawn Michaels. Now I will admit I am jealous that Canadians (and many Americans on the Northern border) get to watch HNIC, so my commentary here isn't borne of such lingering envy. But it's great in this clip how badly Michaels tries to hide the fact he's reading lines off a cue-card. And kudos to the editing team at the CBC for putting together the above montage which somehow both flatters the players and mocks them at the same time.

Actually, what's shameful about all of this is that it made me hate the Penguins just a little less.

*throws a keychain at Rick's head*

Ahhhhhh, I feel better. 

3. Hulk Hogan Flyers Promo

Oh for fuck's sake.

So, during the 2012 season, the Penguins and the Flyers had a bit of a dust-up in their second to last regular season meeting. During the brawl, former Flyers winger Scott "I Tweeted in Favor of Trump and Permanently Ended Up on JDP's Shitlist" Hartnell did the Hulk Hogan hand gesture to Cy Clark, a Penguins fan who used to come to games dressed as Hogan (Clark passed away a couple years ago from cancer, so RIP good sir). 

During the teams' playoff series a few weeks later, the Flyers showed the Hulk Hogan video on the jumbo-tron as the teams brawled during a Flyers 83-14 win (there were a lot of goals in that series). Of course, Hogan is a Tampa Bay fan (and maybe not the most ardent one, as CM Punk pointed out) but the Hulkster could never pass up a buck.

In hindsight, sure it makes some sense. But honestly this is Philly. Couldn't any of the ECW alumni done this instead?

*thinks about Flyers fans throwing chairs onto the ice a la that ECW match with Catcus Jack and Terry Funk*

Moving on...

2. Bob Probert, WCW Enforcer
Alongside John Ferguson, Bob Probert ranks among the toughest players to ever play in the NHL. And off and on in the late 1990s, Probert would appear at WCW shows -- even appearing alongside "The Nature Boy" in promos and at United Center during Probert's time with the Blackhawks.

In 1999, Probert would have a run-in with Tank Abbott in WCW (I believe in Rockford, Illinois) after Abbott attacked a member of the Wirtz family. In many ways, this is your standard "celebrity-runs-into-the-ring" moment, but Probert -- as always -- looks scary here.

According to Ric Flair, the two men had a confrontation backstage at this show where Probert basically threatened to kick the snot out of Abbott. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed.

And speaking of Flair....

1. Ric Flair and "The Woooo."
For a time in the last decade, Ric Flair would grace the Jumbotron of the Hurricanes' arena and do his "Woooo!" after the team scored a goal.

Well, he wouldn't; a video of him would. #Grammar

Anyway, this was either great or annoying, depending on your point of view. I suppose the "wooo!" is best experienced in small doses. Flyers fans started doing the "woooo" this past season after rookie star Travis Konecny did it in a game, and I was recently at a Milwaukee Admirals game where there was too much "woooing."

So, the less "wooo's," the better hockey fans.

*looks around apartment*

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*gets call from landlord."

Anyway, that's part 1! Next week, V more hockey and wrestling moments!!

Top V Most Shameful Moments for WCW Stars in WWE

Last week at Wrestlemania, Goldberg lost the WWE Universal Title to Brock Lesnar, ending a run of six months in which the former WCW champion was treated....honestly, quite well by most accounts. Indeed, Rick and I have expressed a great deal of surprise at how strongly WWE has booked Goldberg since Survivor Series, especially since Goldberg's first run in the WWE was, as Rick noted, not all that impressive.

There is a long history of WCW / NWA stars coming to do the WWE and being given royal treatments by the McMahon's: Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, the Brainbusters -- hell, even that Mean Mark Callous turned out okay. Of course, there's also a tradition of former WCW / NWA stars being given lousy treatments by the WWF / WWE in terms of booking and presentation. So for this edition of Top V, I'm going to examine five of the worst examples of the McMahon corporation treating WCW talent like....well.....like how they originally treated Goldberg -- pretty shamefully.

One note here: I've focused on wrestlers who were mainly known as WCW talent prior to "going up north," so I decided to leave out guys like Shane Douglas, Jake Roberts, Ricky Steamboat, and Rick Rude who moved back and forth between the companies. 

One more note: I'm trying to leave out as much about the Invasion as I possibly can because the Invasion sucked.

One final note: I'm sure I'm forgetting some other shameful moments, so if you think of anymore, let us know via Twitter @wrestlingshame or in the comments below or on Facebook.

5. Sting's Wrestlemania Match

Sweet Enola Gay....

So, let's get this out of the way: younger me was never really enamored with Sting. I think because as an 11 and 12 year old, I was becoming enamored with the heels of professional wrestling, and, as such, Sting struck me as a goofy character that I could never really get behind. And by the time he adopted his "Crow" Sting persona in the late 1990s, I was too into the NWO to find him all that compelling.

That said, I can't deny Sting's talent or his legacy -- both of which were pretty much tarnished by his horrible WWE run in 2014 and 2015. Sure, it started great with his appearance at the 2014 Survivor Series, but then came Wrestlemania and one of the most nonsensical matches in wrestling history and then another neck injury.

And let's talk about that match. Among the crimes present: the fact that the build-up of this feud moved from "Sting protecting wrestlers from the Authority" to "WWE vs WCW" for reasons that I don't understand; the match itself (which isn't that great per se, but I'll blame HHH for that); and the run-ins. I mean Sting did have an on-again, off-again relationship with the NWO and the NWO Wolfpack, but I can't believe that most wrestling fans associate the Stinger with the NWO. So why have Hogan, Hall, and Nash run-in? 

The irony of all of this is Sting avoiding coming to the WWE for years because he didn't trust the WWE  to treat his character fairly. And he was right. Because there were so many precedents.

4. Booker T & HHH's "People Like You" Promo

Speaking of precedents...

Look, professional wrestling doesn't have the greatest track-record when addressing issues of race. But it's hard to think of another segment as insensitive as this one. I understand that HHH is the heel in this narrative and a heel's job is to get heat upon himself -- but there's a line. And HHH manages to cross at least six of them in roughly six minutes in a promo in 2003.

The fact is that no one looked good coming out of this feud --- especially not Booker T. And while we here at Wrestling Shame generally write about the more ludicrous moments in professional wrestling, we certainly do not condone the reprehensible moments.

Frankly, the less written about this, the better.

3. Lex Luger Bodyslamming Yokozuna

Okay, back to the goofy.

This might be best served for another post, but Lex Luger wasn't as bad as people remember. In fact, I'd argue that if the former Penn State and Miami football player was booked better throughout his career, he'd get more respect from present-day fans.

Case in point: Luger's run with the WWE in the early 1990s. Originally signed as a commentator for the WBF, Luger was brought into the fold of the WWF / E by Bobby Heenan as the "Narcissist," who would pose in a full-length mirror before every match. And Luger was pretty good in this role!

Then Vince McMahon and company decided to turn him into the next Hulk Hogan.

Luger's face turn around this time didn't really work for a number of reasons and is probably worth a full treatment in a future post, but insofar as Wrestling Shame is concerned things went wrong with Luger's appearance at the Yokozuna Bodyslam Challenge -- a weird WWF/E event where various sports celebrities and wrestlers attempted to body-slam Yokozuna on a ring on the USS Intrepid.

If you've never seen this particular event --- oh man, are you in for a treat: you have Crush almost body slam Yokozuna, you have Macho Man attempt it while wearing perhaps the best / worst outfit of his career, and then Luger comes to save the day via helicopter.

Frankly, they should have blared "Ride of Valkyries" as Luger approached because this was a time before that Apocalypse Now reference was beaten into the ground.

2. The Ringmaster

At some point in the near-future, I want to do a What-If-Wednesday about the Ringmaster. You know, Steve Austin's first gimmick in the WWE. And in this piece, I'd consider what the implications of the wrestling world would have been if he'd kept the "Million Dollar Championship."

Insofar as early to mid-1990s gimmicks go, this isn't that bad, but seeing Austin in this role is frankly a bit weird. It's sorta like seeing a picture of your dad as a thin guy with hair. You recognize him, but at the same time you're very confused by "stranger" in the image.

Austin himself thought the gimmick was weak -- and it was -- but the WWE's suggestions were even less inspired: Otto Von Ruthless, Ice Dagger, Fang McFrost, and Chilli McFreeze. I am not joking --- although a Chilli McFreeze sounds delicious.

Anyway, the WWF / E gave a former WCW star a shameful gimmick --- but they could have somehow made it MORE shameful. You think about that.

1. Dusty Rhodes's Vignettes 

Whatever you think of him, it's hard to dispute the fact that Dusty Rhodes was one of the most entertaining and "over" wrestlers of all time. I feel like I'm hardly doing the man justice by saying that, but Rhodes was one of the best talkers and had one of the best personas of any professional wrestler.

It's also a testament to him that he was able to get over with WWE crowds in the early 1990s after Vince McMahon actively tried to destroy his legacy.

At some point, we at Wrestling Shame will have to address Dusty Rhodes in the WWE: the shameful attire, Sapphire, that theme song....but perhaps the worst aspect were the Dusty Rhodes vignettes that would air on Prime Time Wrestling in 1989. These sorta played-up Dusty's working-man persona, but I think they were designed to diminish Dusty's status as a wrestling legend.

I think the most shameful one is the pizza delivery man vignette. While I'm not from the South, it's clear that whoever wrote and directed these was attempting to mock Southern culture and Rhodes as well.

Unless pig's feet pizza with a little snout on the side is actually a thing.

*Googles it, sees the Dusty Rhodes video as the only hit*

God, pro wrestling is the worst.

Some #WrestleMania Thoughts by @Rick_City

First of all, I highly recommend starting watching WrestleMania an hour into the show so you can skip over all of the miscellaneous stuff.

Here are some things I wrote during the show:

Shane versus AJ was much better than it deserved to be. Honestly though, AJ Styles is a former WWE Champion who recently defeated John Cena. He should have destroyed Shane. Instead, Shane McMahon looked like he was on the same level for most of the match. It made for a better match, but it made less sense logically. Ref bumps where the referee takes three hours to recover are so dumb. It's adorable how Shane McMahon's kids are always so excited to see him lose at WrestleMania. 

Jericho/Owens was fine. It was what I expected from it, so that's good. There have been two matches so far and there have been two "this is awesome" chants. Please stop. 

I was pretty shocked the see the Hardyz come out for the tag match, even though I heard some rumours. I wasn't shocked that they returned with their WWE gimmick, not the "broken" gimmick. No offense to TNA, but no one really knows what TNA Impact is. I know the internet went nuts for the Broken Hardys, but I haven't seen TNA/Impact Wrestling in many, many years. Outside of a few clips I've seen on YouTube, I have no idea what the Broken gimmick truly is. Maybe the live crowd at WrestleMania would have reacted positively to the Broken Hardys, but at least half of the people watching at home would have no idea what was going on if the Hardyz came back acting weird. If they want to change gimmicks in WWE, then go for it, but it made sense to have them come back to the gimmick that WWE fans know. The ladder match itself was fine.

I feel like the Raw Women's Title match had its time cut minutes before the women went out there. It seemed rushed and should have been much better. The fact that Charlotte didn't cleanly get the turnbuckle cover off hurt as well, since the exposed turnbuckle played such a big part in the match. It was good to see Bayley retain though. I'm shocked Sasha didn't turn on her after the match.

Cena/Nikki vs Miz/Maryse was fine for what it was. STOP CHEERING FOR THE MIZ! HE'S HE ONLY REAL HEEL WE HAVE! DON'T RUIN HIM! Jerry Lawler should never do commentary again. Weren't Nikki and Maryse the legal competitors when the match ended? Then why did they play Cena's music when Nikki won the match? Also, the proposal was 1980s level cheesy. 

Next, Seth Rollins faced off against someone's dad going through a midlife crisis. It was long, and not in a good way. It felt long. I get what they were trying to do, but it didn't really work for me. Stephanie McMahon is an incredible manager though. Little things like telling HHH that "he's getting chairs!" is excellent. It's so weird that they didn't mention Seth Rollins' knee injury a million times. In a shocking turn of events, it was Stephanie, not Shane, who was the McMahon to take a cool big bump tonight. The match was entertaining at points, but it did feel long, as I said.

At least Bray Wyatt got to enter at night. A few years ago when him and the Undertaker did their entrances in daylight, it looked weird. Rollins turning the ramp into fire during his entrance in the last match suddenly a lot less impact when it basically looked the same when Orton entered (minus the snake). It feels like they wanted this storyline to be something huge and epic but it wasn't. OH GOOD VIDEO PROJECTIONS. The fact that they acted like a video totally spooked Orton was ridiculous. Would Orton even be able to see what the video was? I hate this feud. 70,000 people were not "in shock." They were embarrassed. Of course Orton won. Terrible decision. Who was the heel here? Who was the face? 

Moving on... 

Not very many "GOLDBERG" chants, but maybe the crowd was just getting tired. I was. And then get got booed when he was announced. Comeback over, I guess. But, after the spears, he was cheered again. Good booking. This match, much like Goldberg's return was booked perfectly. I would have liked to see Goldberg kick out of the first F5, since Lesnar kicked out of the Jackhammer, but otherwise it was great stuff. And I hate "spam all the suplexes" Lesnar, but it was perfect tonight. Goldberg's return was a million times better than it deserved to be.

The fact that the Smackdown Women's Title match was booked to follow Goldberg/Lesnar was cruel, but at least it wasn't on the preshow. At least the Universal Title match woke up the crowd after Orton/Wyatt killed it. Why did all of the women just watch as Naomi danced around during her intro? I feel like Becky Lynch's hair is culturally insensitive. I hate Elsworth so much. Am I supposed to? The double sharpshooter was cool. Naomi winning was a good call. She's over. 

Great to see JR back. If they were going to have both JR and the King back, they should have put them together. JBL is awful these days. I can see the "guest announcers" being there to give the permanent announce team a break on such a long show, though. Roman Reigns is the perfect smug asshole. Even without the "chosen one" boos, based on his character, he should be booed. He's a cocky jerk. I love him. Stop trying to make him "the top face" and just let him be "the top guy." The show was five hours long and I swear four hours of it were the Undertaker walking down the ramp for the match. This match was booked perfectly too. It truly felt like a "passing of the torch" moment. If Undertaker's career is over, and it most certainly feels like it is, this was a good storyline way to go. 

Overall, despite sounding grumpy during this post, I quite liked this WrestleMania. Outside of Orton/Wyatt, every match was entertaining in its own way. Good stuff. 

WrestleMania Remix: WrestleMania X-Seven

I told you we weren't just going to do the bad ones.

Not sure what a "WrestleMania Remix" is? Want a refresher of the rules? Check out our posts on WrestleMania XXVIII, WrestleMania IX and WrestleMania Play Button 31.

WrestleMania X-Seven wasn't just perhaps the best WrestleMania ever. It wasn't even just perhaps the best wrestling pay-per-view ever. It was the "end of an era." The Monday Night War was over. At this event, the Austin/McMahon feud would end. The next year, the WWF itself would end, becoming WWE.

So, of course, we're going to change it.

Here is the card as it originally aired:

Preshow Match:

X-Factor (Justin Credible and X-Pac) (with Albert) defeated Steve Blackman and Grand Master Sexay

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Chris Jericho (c) defeated William Regal

Six-man tag team match

Tazz and The APA (Bradshaw and Faarooq) (with Jacqueline) defeated Right to Censor (The Goodfather, Val Venis, and Bull Buchanan) (with Steven Richards)

Triple threat hardcore match for the WWF Hardcore Championship

Kane defeated Raven (c) and Big Show

Singles match for the WWF European Championship

Eddie Guerrero (with Perry Saturn) defeated Test (c)

Kurt Angle defeated Chris Benoit

WWF Women's Championship

Chyna defeated Ivory (c)

Street Fight with Mick Foley as the special guest referee

Shane McMahon defeated Mr. McMahon (with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley)

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for the WWF Tag Team Championship

Edge and Christian defeated The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von) (c) and The Hardy Boyz (Matt and Jeff)

The Iron Sheik won the Gimmick Battle Royal

The Undertaker defeated Triple H

No Disqualification match for the WWF Championship

Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated The Rock (c)

Okay, that's a really good card.

So, here's the Remix:

As per usual, I don't remix battle royals, so the Gimmick Battle Royal is saved. Also, Ivory versus Chyna will have to stay, as there are no other women competing on the card.

Preshow match

Val Venis vs Grand Master Sexay

This would be a horrible match. Val Venis at this point was in the Right to Censor, so he's all serious and stuff. Grand Master Sexay isn't serious. People will be happy if he wins. That starts the night off on a high note.

Big Show and Steve Blackman vs Right to Censor (The Goodfather and Bull Buchanan) (with Steven Richards)

I think Big Show was a heel at this point, but who cares? He's turned 3234 times, so just turn him again for this match. Have it be two guys who are sick of the Right to Censor and who stand up to them.

William Regal and Mr. McMahon (with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs The Hardy Boyz (Matt and Jeff)

William Regal had helped Vince and Stephanie embarrass Trish Stratus, so Lita would come out to defend her, setting up a match between the Hardyz and Vince/Regal.

Fourway Tag Team Match

X-Factor (Justin Credible and X-Pac) (with Albert) vs The APA (Bradshaw and Faarooq) (with Jacqueline) vs The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von) vs Raven and Tazz

This match would be to name number one contenders for the tag team titles. The Dudleyz would win.

WWF Hardcore Championship with Mick Foley as the special guest referee

Kane (c) vs Shane McMahon

Shane is crazy and willing to risk his health. Fresh off of buying WCW, he's feeling cocky and challenges Kane for the Hardcore title. Kane throws him through unlimited things to pop the crowd. 

WWF Tag Team Championship

Edge and Christian (c) vs Chris Benoit and Test

Chris Benoit and Test are both Canadian, so they would become partners. Edge and Christian are Canadian too. Make this match about Canada or something. Also, the tag belts.

WWF Women's Championship

Chyna vs Ivory (c)

I have no other options.

Triple Threat Match for WWF Intercontinental Championship & WWF European Championship

Chris Jericho (c) vs Kurt Angle vs Eddie Guerrero (with Perry Saturn) (c)

Jericho is IC champ and Guerrero is Euro champ. Have them feud about who the better champion is, then have Kurt Angle come out and say he's the real "best champion" because he's got Olympic gold.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Same as booked.

Triple H vs The Rock

This should have happened the year before at WrestleMania 2000, so let's do it here instead.

WWF Championship

The Undertaker (c) vs Stone Cold Steve Austin

These two always had good chemistry together, so why not do it at WrestleMania? The only downside is that, if Austin wins (because it's in Texas) that ends the Undertaker's Streak before it has a chance to really become a "thing." The other option is to do Triple H versus Austin and Undertaker versus The Rock, which would also work.

This was a hard one because WrestleMania X-Seven was so good. However, the roster was stacked at this moment, so basically any combination of guys would have put on a good show. 

What do you think?

Kurt Angle Would Have Been The Greatest WWE Star in History

Forgive me if this is a short post, but I'm on a Twitter hiatus right now, so this blog is all I have. (Also, forgive me if this post is poorly written. I'm not on an alcohol hiatus and my son went to sleep early.)

If you've been living under a rock, here's the news: Kurt Angle is now in the WWE Hall of Fame. Also, the president of the United States is horribly unqualified. Oops. Sorry.

Anyway, Kurt Angle is in the Hall of Fame and it is more than well-deserved. Kurt Angle is amazing. In fact, if Kurt Angle had not left the WWE in 2006, he would be entering the Hall of Fame as the greatest superstar in WWE history.

That's right. I love Shawn Michaels. I love Bret Hart. I love Randy Savage. I understand how important Hulk Hogan was to the industry. But Kurt Angle, if he had been in WWE for the past ten years instead of slumming it in TNA, would have been the greatest star in WWE history.

He had it all. He was funny. He was charismatic. He was an incredible wrestler. He could be a face or a heel. He would be serious or silly. He was "legitimate" long before Brock Lesnar made that a thing. He could talk, he could act, he could wrestle. Kurt Angle could do whatever he needed to do. A hilarious backstage skit? An incredible wrestling match? A hardcore brawl? A serious segment? Check, check, check and check.

Unfortunately, his health was an issue and he left WWE long before he had accomplished everything that he could have. He was still at the top of his game and was wrestling great matches when he left the company.

He first appeared on WWF TV in 1999. He left in 2006. That's about seven years. In that time, he won the WWF/E Championship four times and the World Title once. He also won the "WCW" title, Intercontinental Title, European Title, US Title, Tag Titles, King of the Ring, etc. He was only 37 years old when he left the company. Imagine the matches he could have had with guys like CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, a more experienced John Cena and others.

Kurt Angle is already one of the best in WWE history. If he had never left the company? He'd be the greatest of all time.