Wrestling Shame's Shameful Wrestlemania Prediction

Sunday is Wrestlemania 33 which will be held, judging by the logo above, in the middle of a splitting atom....

*checks sources*

Or Orlando.

This week has been our Wrestlemania Week here at Wrestling Shame. We've done a series of Wrestlemaina Remixes -- all of which you can read here: Wrestlemania Remix -- and we've introduced our Hall of Shame and, in addition, Rick has noted this Wrestlemania is going to be too long.

Anyway, Rick City and I have decided to offer the internet our predictions for what will happen at the latest "Showcase of the Immortals." And being who we are, we've sprinkled quite a few Simpsons references in here.

Bear in mind that we are, in the words of Homer Simpson, "sober-ish" as we write these, and that we would never ever encourage anyone to gamble based on our predictions.

But if you do win some money based on our predictions, we accept checks.

The goggles do nothing!

Alexa Bliss vs Becky Lynch vs Natalya vs Mickie James vs Carmella vs Naomi

Rick: I have no idea, but I like Alexa Bliss' gimmick. She's Harley Quinn, right?

JDP: Ya know, I really like Natalya. I like Mickie James. Alexa Bliss is quick becoming a great worker and promo. But they are going to give the belt to Naomi here, I think. 

When he's not in class, he's risking his ass!

Neville vs Austin Aries

Rick: Austin Aries makes sense, right? I guess? I don't know.

JDP: Neville? Is he still wearing the cape? 

I guess that's pretty big....

Andre the Giant Battle Royal:

JDP: Braun Strowman....

Rick: Umm..... Braun Strowman, maybe? 

And hillbillies prefer to be called "sons of the soil," but it ain't gonna happen. 

Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton

Rick: It should be Bray Wyatt, but I have no faith in WWE. Randy Orton wins. Also, this "Randy Orton joins The Wyatt Family but ha ha not really" storyline has done nothing for me. Who's the face? Who's the heel? The WWE Title still a thing, right? I expect this match to open the actual show.

JDP: God, Wyatt will lose. I hate the WWE, and I've never really cared for Randy Orton. I pointed out how stupid the booking is for this match in a piece for us here, but man, I know how this will end and it's dumb. 

That brisket ain't sitting right. 

Goldberg vs Lesnar

JDP: This is the hardest match of the night to call for me. I think most of us were surprised by their Survivor Series match -- which was really quite brilliant in hindsight -- so I wouldn't be shocked if they went with a twist here and let Bill keep the title. Also, it's nice that the WWE finally got around to treating a former WCW performer with some respect only 16 years after that company went belly-up.

Rick: I hope we either get a good, decent-length match out of them or a perfect reenactment of their WrestleMania 20 match. I hope it's not a squash. I'd love to see Goldberg win because people would flip out, but I doubt it will happen.

This is my angry face! Grrrr!

Undertaker vs Reigns

Rick: Not only WILL Roman Reigns win, but Roman Reigns SHOULD win. Stop booing me. Stop. I know you're not saying "Boo-urns." Look, WWE has a problem with relying on part-timers and past stars. Thanks to their "wonderful" booking, Roman Reigns is the closest to a homegrown star under 35 that they have. He should win.

JDP: I was saying "Boo-urns!" But seriously, I think Reigns wins and maybe the WWE just embraces the heel in Reigns that's clearly there.

Kill my boss? Dare I live the American Dream?

Rollins vs HHH

JDP: Why are they calling this an "unsanctioned" match? That doesn't make sense. Would you see the NHL grant an "unsanctioned" game between the Flyers and Penguins in April featuring NHL referees? God, pro wrestling is dumb sometimes. Anyway, I don't like nor do I trust HHH to do what's best for business, so I'm expecting him to go over here. 

Rick: Argh. This is another feud that did nothing for me. I mean, it was kind of cool when Triple H turned on Rollins and helped Kevin Owens win the Universal Title, but then the feud just disappeared for a while and popped back up in time for WrestleMania. I would rather have Rollins versus Samoa Joe. Anyway, HHH wins because I think they'll stretch this feud until SummerSlam. Triple H likes to be involved in multi-match "epics." Joe costs Rollins the win, then Rollins faces Joe a few times, then, once he's beaten him, he faces HHH again and wins.

Stop, stop: he's already dead!!

Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles

Rick: If AJ Styles loses, we riot.

JDP: AJ. Also, every Shane match is another reminder that Vince McMahon would gladly have one of his children die in the ring. I fully expect Shane to fight a rabid grizzly bear in a suit that he has to build by himself at Wrestlemania 37.

I learned that beneath my goody two shoes lies some very dark socks

Bayley vs Charlotte vs Banks vs Nia Jax

Rick: Bayley wins, but then Sasha Banks turns heel on her and the two feud.

JDP: I think Sasha wins by turning heel mid-match on Bayley, but then there's a "Dusty finish" and Charlotte is awarded the belt somehow. 

Canadian News and Lost Mitten Update

Chris Jericho vs Owens

Rick: I think Jericho is leaving WWE again for a while, right?

JDP: This is the closet thing to a Canadian civil war since the Rebellions of 1837 (See that Canada? An American knows something about Canadian history. GIVE ME HEALTHCARE!!). But Owens wins here.

Is this how you pictured married life?
Pretty much yes -- expect we drove around in a van, solving mysteries.

Cena / Bella vs the Miz and Maryse

JDP: I think the Miz and Maryse win here through shenanigans (which is my favorite word).

Rick: The Miz is an incredible heel. I'd love to say that he'll win, but he won't. Total Bellas needs more content.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. 

Ambrose vs Corbin:

JDP: Don't know and don't care? True story: went to a WWE show with Ron Felten, and I thought people were saying "We Want Eggrolls!" instead of "Let's Go Ambrose!"

Rick: There was a time when I really liked Dean Ambrose.

I told you I don't like ethnic food!

Gallows / Anderson vs Amore / Cass vs Cesaro / Sheamus 

Rick: Enzo and Cass because the crowd likes them and it can't be all heel victories, right? Someone needs to cheer for something.

JDP: Meh. Enzo and Cass. And I can't stand either one of them.  

Surprise Returnee: 

JDP: I kinda think Hogan shows up. He's from Tampa, and hasn't said anything horribly racist in a few months. 

Rick: Stone Cold Steve Austin. I'd like to say Hogan, but it probably won't happen.

Match of the Night: 

Rick: In terms of in-ring action, I'd like to say Jericho/Owens, but Styles/Shane will be more memorable because AJ Styles is great and Shane McMahon will jump off something. Honourable mention for Kurt Angle being introduced in the Hall of Fame segment. Yes, Kurt Angle could have the match of the night in a Hall of Fame segment.

JDP: I'm going to go with the women's fatal 4-way. 

Match that Wrestling Fans Will Hate: 

JDP: Roman Reigns could buy everyone in the arena frosty chocolate milkshakes and everyone would still hate his match sooooo......

Rick: All of it. Wrestling fans hate everything.

Worst Match of the Night: 

Rick: Ambrose versus Corbin

JDP: Ambrose versus Corbin, followed by the men's tag-team triple threat.

Will Roman Reigns start a riot? 

JDP: No -- I mean, if he couldn't incite a riot in Philly, he won't be able to do so in Orlando.

Rick: No, but only because no one will be awake when this marathon show ends. If anything, he'll have some pyro that will wake people up and let them know it's time to stumble back to their cars.

Match most likely to be cut for a musical performance that no one wants: 

Rick: Ambrose/Corbin (I realize I'm hating on this one a lot).

JDP: Yeah, I agree. Ambrose / Corbin will be 5 minutes of pure trash. 

What will be longer: the Goldberg vs Lesnar match or the Undertaker's entrance? 

JDP: Goldberg / Lesnar. I can't think of anything funny to say to this.

Rick: Goldberg/Lesnar, because there will be stalling and angry looks and staredowns and Paul Heyman. The Undertaker's entrance won't have Paul Heyman.

Shane McMahon Stunt: 

Rick: The stage is supposed to look like a roller coaster or something, right? He'll jump off that. Or maybe he'll be put in a little cart and be sent around it or something. I don't know.

JDP: There's supposed to be a big ramp. I'm guessing AJ Styles covers him in "Vote Quimby" stickers and pushes him down the ramp in a shopping cart.

Will John Cena propose? 

JDP: I'm not sure. Doesn't this seem like it's too corny for the present-day WWE? If this was 1994, I could totally see it.

Rick: My initial thought was yes, but then I realized that they'll want to save that for Total Divas or Total Bellas or Total Cenas or whatever.

What match will go on last? 

Rick: Reigns/Undertaker. Goldberg/Lesnar is the most-hyped title match, but it won't possibly be longer than ten minutes. WWE won't want to end the show with a short match. They will want to end the show with Roman Reigns standing tall. Plus, the Reigns/Taker match will probably be at least 20 minutes, so that will be last.

JDP: I kinda see Goldberg / Lesnar going on last. I suspect the WWE will have a run-in into the match that will "shock" everyone. And that person?

Come on universe: just give us this.  

Will the phrase 'Ultimate Thrill Ride' lead to either of us rocking in the corner after it's said for the one millionth time? 

Rick: I hate Michael Cole.

JDP: I hate my life.

WrestleMania Remix: WrestleMania 31

Yes, it's time to take on WrestleMania Play Button. We're not going to just do the bad ones. For the Remix rules that we're following, check out our WrestleMania IX Remix and WrestleMania 27 Remix posts.

And, yes, this remix means no awesome Seth Rollins cash-in. Sorry.

Here's the card as it actually aired:

Preshow Match:
WWE Tag Team Championship - Fatal 4-Way
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (c) (with Natalya) defeated The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston) (with Xavier Woods), Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando) (with El Torito), and The Usos (Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso) (with Naomi)

Preshow Match:
Big Show won the André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Ladder match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Daniel Bryan defeated Bad News Barrett (c), Dolph Ziggler, Stardust, Luke Harper, R-Truth, and Dean Ambrose

Randy Orton defeated Seth Rollins (with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury)

No Disqualification Match
Triple H defeated Sting

Tag Team Match
AJ Lee and Paige defeated The Bella Twins (Nikki Bella and Brie Bella) by submission

WWE United States Championship
John Cena defeated Rusev (c) (with Lana)

The Undertaker defeated Bray Wyatt

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins defeated Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar (c) (with Paul Heyman)

Two notes: First, I'm not changing the Andre The Giant Battle Royal because that's crazy. Second, I'm going to remix the card as it was originally booked, so the booked main event was Roman Reigns versus Brock Lesnar. The Seth Rollins cash-in was a booking decision, not a booked match.

So, here's the Remix:

Preshow Match:
The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston) (with Xavier Woods) vs Stardust and R-Truth
Remember, this was the New Day that nobody liked. Stardust & R-Truth could have been a "wacky tag team" that WWE loves. I know that both of them were technically in a match with each other on the official card, but switching Stardust and R-Truth from opponents to tag partners feels like enough of a remix to me.

Preshow Match:
Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando) (with El Torito), AJ Lee and Paige vs The Bella Twins (Nikki Bella and Brie Bella) & The Usos (Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso) (with Naomi)
I know, this looks like another place where I cheated, and I did, but there was nothing else I could do with AJ Lee, Paige and the Bellas. I wanted to have AJ Lee vs Paige, but then there's no one left for the Bellas to face.

The André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
This stays as is.

WWE Tag Team Championship
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (c) (with Natalya) vs John Cena and Daniel Bryan
I think Cena and Bryan would have been an entertaining tag team and being in a tag team would allow Bryan to work a reduced schedule. They'd win the belts here.

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Bad News Barrett (c) vs Bray Wyatt
This would be part of a "Wyatt Family Takeover" storyline where the Wyatts would reunite with a new focus and want to claim all of the gold.

WWE United States Championship
Rusev (c) (with Lana) vs Luke Harper
Same "Wyatt Family Takeover" deal here.

Triple H vs Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler was the reason Triple H's Authority team lost at Survivor Series, so this is the blow off to that feud.

No Holds Barred Triple Threat Match
Roman Reigns vs Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins
The Shield triple threat should have happened before they ran the idea into the ground. You could even spice things up and have Seth's Money in the Bank briefcase on the line, if you wanted.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs Randy Orton
Basically take everything that happened leading up to their SummerSlam 2016 match and do it here. Orton would be the Royal Rumble winner.

The Undertaker vs Sting
How did this not actually happen? I don't care if the match would be bad. It's a dream match. And, yes, it would close the show.


Now, I'm not sure if this would be better than the actual card, but I kind of like it. What do you think?

Throwback Thursday: The Patriot versus Bret Hart

The wrestling world has been talking about Kurt Angle for the last few weeks (and with good reason) but what about that other guy who once used his theme song?

Yes, today we're talking about The Patriot.

If there was ever a reason to chant "YOU SUCK" when "Medal" was played, this was it.

In 1997, Bret Hart was in the middle of the hot Hart Foundation versus America storyline and was also WWF Champion so, of course, he ended up in a feud with someone that no one has ever heard of.

I mean, maybe someone had heard of him, but I'm not including people like his parents or the one diehard Patriot fan that I'm sure exists.

Here's what happened.

The Patriot's TV debut in the WWF was on July 14, 1997. On July 28, he defeated then WWF Champion Bret Hart on Raw. Yes, two weeks after his debut, he had defeated the reigning WWF Champion. Sure, Shawn Michaels interfered, but the fact remains.

Oh yeah, the week before, The Patriot defeated some guy named Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Yes, it was by disqualification after the Hart Foundation interfered, but the fact remains.

The Patriot holds victories over Bret Hart and Triple H.

It's not like The Patriot was some world-renowned talent that had finally made it to WWF. This wasn't the 1997 version of AJ Styles coming to the company. This was a guy who had teamed with Marcus "Buff" Bagwell in a WCW tag team named "Stars N Stripes."

I loved the Hart Foundation in 1997. As a Canadian, I was actually contractually-bound to do so. That gimmick was incredible. The feud between the Harts and America (often represented by Stone Cold Steve Austin and/or Shawn Michaels) was what made me love wrestling again. And yet Bret Hart - one of the greatest technical wrestlers ever, who was in the middle of an incredible angle - was forced to face The Patriot. Repeatedly.

The Patriot received a shot at the WWF Title at In Your House: Ground Zero. Thankfully he lost. The Patriot was released from the WWF in early 1998.

Why do we live in a world where Bret Hart had a pay per view match against The Patriot and not Kurt Angle? Why did a nobody get a (short) main event run because he wore a mask with stars and stripes on it? Why is life so cruel? Why does pain exist?

Oh, and apparently, Tom "Salvatore Sincere" Brandi "sometimes wrestles or does autograph signings under a mask as The Patriot, although without the permission of the original Patriot, Del Wilkes." (Thanks, Wikipedia)

What the hell is going on!?

WrestleMania is Going to be WAY Too Long

WrestleMania Don't-Call-It-33-It's-A-Big-Shining-Sun-Because-It's-In-Florida-And-It's-Sunny-There-And-This-Event-Is-Young-And-Hip-Not-Some-Lame-33-Year-Old-Parent is this Sunday. 

13 matches are scheduled.

THIRTEEN MATCHES!

Yes, three of them (I think) are going to take place on the preshow, but that still leaves ten matches on the main card. Plus, don't forget, "Mr. Worldwide" Pitbull will be performing as well as Lunchmoney Lewis, Stephen Marley and Flo Rida, because it's been about 30 seconds since Flo Rida appeared on a WWE show, so that needs to be rectified immediately.

And there will be the New Day segments, the Hall of Fame segment, the entrances, video packages, the New Day segments, guest stars, nostalgia appearances, New Day segments, backstage promos, songs, New Day segments, and more.

Rumour has it that the show, including the preshow, will be seven hours long. SEVEN HOURS!

I mean, I get it. They want to be like the Super Bowl. They want to be a day-long thing that people invite their friends over to watch and everyone eats food and gets progressively drunker until they pass out long before the show ends with a triumphant Roman Reigns (we know it's going to happen).

But COME ON! 

I can't dedicate three hours to watching Raw, so there's no way that I'm going to watch seven hours of WrestleMania. I have a wife and a two-year-old. Neither of them will be happy with "Sorry, I can't do that right now. Maybe in four more hours after WrestleMania ends. Yes, I know I've already been watching this for three hours, but Dean Ambrose versus Baron Corbin is coming up!"

*Sigh*

Maybe I'll just watch the highlights the next day like I do for the weekly shows. I want to watch this show, but I don't have a spare seven hours in my life to do so.

What audience is WWE targeting with a show of this length? Kids aren't going to sit there and watch for seven hours. Older adults with kids won't do it either. People in their 20s who want to have a party for the event probably will, but there's nothing about WWE's booking or presentation that suggests they want to attract people in their 20s, so I am genuinely confused.

Will you be watching all seven hours of WrestleMania? Will you hate yourself afterwards? Let us know in the comments.

The Inaugural Wrestling Shame "Hall of Shame"

Over the past few weeks, I've been debating writing a piece about the WWE Hall of Fame. Originally, I was going to write about how certain figures deserve to be the Hall, but then I figured "well, everyone is going to do that." Then I thought about writing a piece that would argue how the WWE Hall of Fame could be more legitimate.

Then it hit me: why are we so concerned with the WWE Hall of Fame here at Wrestling Shame.

We need a Hall of Shame.

So Rick and I proudly (shamefully) present our inaugural class of the Wrestling Shame Hall of Shame. The honorees will receive nothing, which actually isn't that much less than WWE Hall of Famers receive when you think about it.

We have several categories: Shameful Booking, Shameful Wrestler, Shameful Match, Shameful Legacy Match, Shameful Entrance Music, Shameful Fan, Shameful Promo, and Shameful Debut.

I also added a Shamefully Wonderful Match because, well, it's our Hall of Shame.

Shameful Booking: The Invasion

A little history here. Rick and I started this site because we were obsessed with re-booking the Invasion angle from 2001. You can read our pieces attempting to do so still here (Rebooking Page) but I think it became apparent to both of us that trying to rework this angle is next to impossible.

A lot of print has been dedicated to the failure of this, which should have been the biggest money-making angle in professional history, but if you're unfamiliar, it basically boils down to two things: the WWE had lost a considerable amount of money on the XFL and couldn't afford to bring in a lot of the more expensive WCW contracts; at the same time, the WWE booked the angle into essentially becoming a battle of the McMahon family and Stone Cold versus the Rock.

And there's also this:

Also, as a scholar of the 1930s, I'm really offended that they used FDR in their promos for this.

There are a lot of angles that are deserving of induction into the Hall of Shame (I suspect the Summer of Punk will be the next inductee), but honestly there is not a shameful angle more deserving of induction into our Hall than this.

Shameful Wrestler: Buff Bagwell

To be fair, we don't believe that Bagwell is the worst wrestler of all time. But to be blunt, I can't think of a wrestler who somehow managed to combine hokey, annoying, and arrogant so completely. On the one hand, I suppose that could be the mark of a good heel, but on the other, I think it just doesn't work at all.

Let's be honest here: if you were trying to get someone to understand professional wrestling, would you show them a Buff Bagwell match? No, you'd show them Randy Savage, Chris Jericho, John Cena, CM Punk --- hell, you'd show them Jerry Lawler versus Andy Kaufmann before you'd show them a Buff Bagwell match.

I mean watch this entrance:

There are so many shameful crimes on display here: beating Chris Jericho, the 3rd generation NWO song, the posing. But again, does any of this make you hate Bagwell as a heel? No, you end up feeling sorry for the guy because you end up thinking "this guy has no idea how to be bad or be arrogant or sexually confident." I think we all had that friend in college who believed in his heart of hearts he was "the ladies man," but in actuality, he never got the courage to talk to a woman; that's who I think of when I see Bagwell.

True story: I, along with friend of the site Ron Felten, saw Bagwell perform at an indy show in Milwaukee three years ago. He got to the show late, and came through the main entrance of Turner Hall Ballroom, dragging his rolling-luggage behind him. I don't remember anything about his match, but the sight of this man looking as confused as a dude at an airport on his 3rd layover of the day will remain with me for the rest of my life.

Also this:

Shameful Match: Lesnar and Goldberg, Wrestlemania XX

Perhaps the most topical entry in the inaugural Hall of Shame is our first entry for Shameful Match given that we will see a re-re-re-match of these two men at Wrestlemania. But perhaps their most infamous / famous contest occurred at Wrestlemaina XX when everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

For starters, the crowd at Madison Square Garden was keenly aware that this would be the last match (at least for the foreseeable future) for both men: Goldberg's contract was expiring and Lesnar was leaving the WWE to try out with the Minnesota Vikings. And from the crowd let everyone know they were pissed, booing the living daylights out of both men, chanting "this match sucks," "we want Bret," and "you sold out." And as Rick wrote in his overview of Goldberg's first run with the WWE, neither man appeared to even want to be in this match. Heck, they almost had to be coaxed into fighting each other in the ring in the first place as they stared each other down for....*checks watch*...43 minutes?

Also, Stone Cold was wearing a Confederate flag-skull logo on his tshirt. Come on Steve. You're better than that.

As Austin recently said in an interview, people were expecting a "knock-down, drag-out fight" between the two men, but, given a range of circumstances, that did not happen here. And it's a really tough match to watch for all these reasons.

Shamefully Wonderful Match: Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan, SummerSlam 2005: 

To be honest, we've been thinking of a way to discuss this match since we started the site. But in our mind, this is one of the most shameful -- and yet amazing -- matches in professional wrestling history.

To the unfamiliar, David Dennis Jr. provides some larger context to this match at Uproxx, but in short Shawn Michaels was miffed at Hogan backing off the original plan for the two men, and decided to over-sell everything in this match. Dolph Ziggler can only dream of achieving such over-selling perfection.

While the entire match is on the Network, you really only need to see Michaels's overselling highlights to appreciate the shameful artistry:

To be honest, this isn't nearly as shameful a match as Lesnar / Goldberg, but it's still pretty great. Also, I wrote all of this before Rick suggested Lesnar / Goldberg, and I didn't feel like deleting any of this.

Legacy Shameful Match: The Shark Cage Match Between Chief Jay Strongbow and "Bulldog" Bob Kent

There's a long tradition in professional wrestling of "shark cage" matches where a tag-team partner or manager of one wrestler is suspended above the ring in a shark cage (Chris Jericho at the last Royal Rumble is the most recent example.)

But in the 1975, Big Time Wrestling in Detroit offered fans an actual shark cage match where Chief Jay Strongbow and "Bulldog" Bob Kent actually fought in a shark cage in the middle of ring.

Let's just say this doesn't work.

I've honestly watched this match three times and I'm still trying to figure out if the crowd is reacting to the "drama" of one man very, very, very slowly trying to exit the cage, the "thrill" of watching the referee try and hold the cage together, or if they are legitimately booing this match.

Shameful Entrance Music: X-Factor

Originally, I suggested the theme for the American Males or any number of WCW theme songs. But two things occurred to me: first, I realized we would need to dedicate an entire wing of Hall of Shame to WCW themes; second, Rick reminded me about the theme song for X-Factor.

As Rick pointed out to me in an email, "The best part is when the song says 'I know you hate that fact' and they play 'X-FACTOR' on top so it sounds like 'I know you hate X-FACTOR.'" 

We do indeed. We do indeed. 

Shameful Fan: This Kid

I love this kid.

This is me after watching most WWE shows. Hell, this is me on a daily basis. 

Shameful Promo: Sid Vicious's Body of Work

I think the best way to describe Sid Vicious or Sid Justice or Psycho Sid's promos is to imagine if Ernest Hemingway got really drunk, lifted weights, and forgot how to talk. That's maybe a bit unfair to Sid, but despite his dangerous persona, even the most vocal Sid supporter has to admit his impact was hampered by those promos.

Consider what we simply call "the bees promo."

Or his declaration that he is, indeed, a "fuel-injected suicide machine."

Or who can forget the "half a man / half a brain" promo.

But there have been times where Sid has tried his damnedest to save a segment. Which brings us to our final category.

Shameful Entrance or Debut: The Shockmaster

I would say this clip is the Ty Cobb of the Hall of Shame. Others might say "Oh the Goobledy Gooker had a better career" or that "David Arquette actually won a championship," but there is no wrestling moment in history that is more emblematic of everything we try to do here than this.

Honestly, ask yourselves this: what DOESN'T this clip have? Crappy 1990s Sting? A probably drunk Ric Flair? A confused Booker T? A befuddled and cursing British Bulldog? And the voice: good lord, the voice. And the costume, especially the sparkly Stromtrooper helmet.

But an underrated element of this clip is Sid's determination to try and make this work. God damn he sells his rage here, but you see a moment on his face where he realizes "man, this won't work."

When I die, I want this played at my funeral on a loop.

That's it for the Inaugural Wrestling Shame Hall of Shame class. You all worked very hard at being shameful, and we shamefully owe a debt of gratitude to you all!

If you have a nominee for the Wrestling Shame Hall of Shame, email us at @[email protected]. State your case for your nominee's inclusion in our Hall of Shame, and if we use your work, you'll get credit and some sort of prize!