How To Tell Your Loved Ones You're a Wrestling Fan

So, it's the holiday season. We will soon be spending time with our families, friends, and other loved ones.

And for many of us, we might try and have that conversation with the people closest to us. That despite our education and general ability to function in society, we like professional wrestling.

Sure, it's easier to avoid the discussion: some of us have spent the better part of our lives hiding behind Simpsons avi's or pretending to be a dead author on Twitter to hide our wrestling shame (hey, that's the name of this website!). But given that these are people we love, we might harbor a desire to tell others about this side of our lives.

I mean it's not like you have a website dedicated to.....oh, god. Oh god.

Anyway, I really wouldn't bring up your love of pro wrestling at the dinner table; instead, accuse your uncle that voted for Trump of ruining the country (because he did). BUT if you feel like you still want to tell people, then I've come up with a guide that will help you.

But you're warned.

These people might --- might --- listen to you. 

How to Tell Your Kids (8 and below): 
These are the easiest people to tell because your children will likely have a friend who wears a John Cena t-shirt to school. I mean wrestling, especially the WWE, is directed toward them, so you can appear to be the cool dad who is willing to wear a New Day unicorn horn on his head.

It is also easy to troll these kids. I suggest walking up to one as you're waiting to pick up your kid from school and yell "Roman Reigns can't talk to save his life!"

Also, take their WWE microphone at the playground and totally cut a promo at the kids. Don't do this to random people at the grocery store. My court date is January 14.

How to Tell  Your Kids (8 to 12): 
This is a trickier audience. Kids are now starting to become ashamed of you because "your jokes suck Dad" or "you're not a real doctor Dad - no one cares about 1930s theatre." (I'm preparing myself for this). Anyway, since I don't have a kid this age yet, I imagine what you should do is say their favorite tween-Disney Channel singer is the daughter of the Rock or something.

Teenagers may flee from you. 

How to Tell Your Teenagers:
Probably will be easy with boys because, as an educator, I can tell you boys are pretty much dumb until they are 42. Also, you can tell them about the Montreal Screwjob! As for girls, I have no idea. I presume they won't want to talk to you at this point. Actually, your sons probably won't either.

I don't like the look of any teenagers.

Maybe don't tell them if they have pick-axes. 

How to Tell Your Work Colleagues: 
This is a tricky group. Ask yourself this: do you like the people you work with? Also ask yourself this: am I close to being fired? In either case, you might want to lay off on the wrestling talk until you become the boss or earn tenure.

If you start to dislike your co-workers, try dropping some wrestling knowledge at random points in your conversations. Here's my suggested script:

Co-worker: Hey you, Monday's right?

You: Mondays were much more exciting during the WCW / WWF Monday Night Wars in the 1990s. In fact, WCW often would reveal the outcome of WWF shows during their....

*Co-worker leaves*

Or perhaps you're in a meeting that is bogged down and dull. Try just pontificating on how good the booking was for the Mega Powers alliance and break-up for a good 20 minutes. Watch their faces judge you.

Or perhaps buy a paperback copy of Ric Flair's autobiography for "Secret Santa." (I seriously came close to doing this last year. And I actually like my coworkers.)

Get used to this look.

How to Tell Your Baristas and Bartenders: 
Usually, these people are cool with it. Hey, you're now the interesting person who comes into the bar or coffeeshop and wears a CM Punk tshirt.

Yes, I consider these people loved ones. No, I don't have a caffeine addiction or a drinking problem.

*blankly stares at you for 30 minutes*

And then he started talking about kayfabe!!!

How to Tell Your Friends: 
Perhaps some of your friends - Hi Ron Felten! - are wrestling fans. Most will not be, but they are your friends and they will like you no matter what.

Just remember they are making fun of you behind your back.

AFTER ALL THEY'VE DONE FOR YOU!

How to Tell Your Parents:
Trust me: your parents know. And they are so, so, so ashamed of you. Well, you dad isn't because he likely still has strong opinions about Verne Gagne and the AWA. But your mom is so ashamed of you. How do you expect to find a girl that way, huh?

Mr. Whiskers is not impressed with your bullshit. 

How to Tell Your Pets:
Dogs will love you know matter what. You can even get your chocolate lab to wear a Hulkmania bandanna! ....*Googles Hulk Hogan*....Maybe that's not a good idea.

If you have a ferret, you probably have bigger problems.

If you have a pet snake and you're a wrestling fan and that snake isn't named Damien, then screw you.

Cats will not give a fuck either way because cats are the best.

Get used to this look as well. 

How to Tell Your Significant Other:
He or she very likely knows. You can't hide the fact you have the WWE Network on Roku. You can't hide the fact you borrow academic studies of Lucha Libre wrestling from the library. Just admire the fact that they are willing to tolerate your bullshit --- at least for the time being or until you try to decorate the tree with a Sabu figure holding a candy cane.

Remember the good times? You won't soon!

How to Tell a Person That You Want to Be Your Significant Other:
Eh, don't? Not sure. Listen, it will come out eventually, so maybe introduce it to this person slowly. Maybe do a Macho Man Randy Savage impression while biting a string-cheese? Or you could always send them a weird wrestling GIF (or GIF) on social media. Or if he or she doesn't understand that Hefty ad, you can explain "oh that's John Cena - he's a wrestler."

BUT DO NOT WEAR A WRESTLING T-SHIRT ON A DATE. I AM TALKING TO YOU RON, JESUS.

Now, there are people who date other people who are into wrestling. And that's great, but rare. Like Columbus Blue Jackets fan rare. Seriously, do they even exist?

Listen, you don't want this information to come out by accident. You will eventually have to tell this person the truth. My advice? Cook them a huge dinner with lots of carbs, plenty of wine, a couple slices of pie, and stuff that person till he or she doesn't know what is what. Then they won't care about anything you say because you've gone out of your way to demonstrate your love to that person.

Haha, kidding. They will immediately text their friends the news and you'll forever be known that group of friends as the "wrestling" guy or girl.

So, you've been warned. Admit your fandom at your own risk. But if you need comfort or support, follow us at @WrestlingShame, @@Rick_City, @JohnDosPassos2 or on Facebook at WrestlingShame.

Top V: Wrestling Documentaries For Fans (and Non-Fans)

Hello there readers.

Recently, a number of you have stopped by our little corner of the inter-webs, perhaps intrigued by our recent posts about politics. Like this one on potential WWE Hall of Famers in politics. Or this one on Linda McMahon. Well, we are glad you stopped by and we look forward to you coming back for our 5,000 word treatise on American-Asian trade policy.

But in the meantime, I want to take a break away from politics (well, sorta, as you'll see), and speak to those of you who may have been surprised to read such trenchant analysis of the Linda McMahon appointment on a wrestling website. Yes, you. Don't leave us just yet!

So, I have a couple questions for you: do you like movies? You do! Great! Hey, do you like documentaries? You do! Terrific!

Given that we write about shameful, shameful wrestling here, I thought it might not be a bad idea to give readers my Top V list of the best wrestling documentaries out there for fans of wrasslin' and for non-fans. It is my hope that you'll find these docs interesting and you can appreciate a little bit of our weird fascination with this performance art.

And if not, you can blame Rick.

5) CM Punk: Best in the World (2012)

I've recently gone on record advocating that we wrestling fans need to take a hard look at our support of the WWE. And I mean that. But it's also difficult to be a wrestling fan when the WWE holds a virtual monopoly on the industry, including the production of documentaries. Many of these - and in a future post I'll address the most egregious ones - become revisionist hatchet jobs that make Vince McMahon's company heroic.

There are a few exceptions to this, and in my mind the best one is CM Punk: Best in the World. What's unique about this documentary is not only how the company allowed footage from a rival company (Ring of Honor) to be inserted into the film, but also how honest they allow Punk to be here. He complains about his frustration with management, his booking status, and the work ethic of other wrestlers. Additionally, he's allowed to voice his own hostility toward his family (Punk did not have the greatest of upbringings and he does not shy away from that here).

For non-wrestling fans, I think this will be appealing because of not just Punk's story, but his humanity. He was arguably the most complex wrestling star of the last 20 years and that's on full display here. If one has the WWE Network, this documentary is still available (but I'm not sure if it's been edited as the WWE has a tendency to edit its material through that service).

4) I'm From Hollywood (1989)

There's been a long intersection of professional wrestling and other forms of entertainment - see my post here - but the best example of this is the Jerry Lawler and Andy Kaufman feud in Memphis wrestling during the early 1980s. I'm From Hollywood chronicles that story, and features a number of Kaufman's co-stars from various Hollywood projects including Tony Danza and Marilu Henner (among others), and is a fascinating look at one of the most surreal stories in wrestling and entertainment history. Perhaps the best aspect of these interviews is how the celebrities try and rationalize Kaufman's behavior -- and many of them struggle mightily to do so.

Even better is how the documentary incorporates archival footage from Memphis wrestling from the era and demonstrates how hated Kaufman by fans was in the territory (think Trump supporters, but madder). Perhaps even better than that is the dedication to kayfabe from the performers and interviewees, especially Jerry Lawler, in their interviews. There's a dedication to the performance and the "reality" of wrestling here that is just not seen in other documentaries. Everyone seems in on the act, and that's very interesting to see.

The documentary is available on YouTube in segments, but you can also find cheap DVD copies of the film easily online.

3) ESPN Docs on Scott Hall and the Von Erichs

The two shortest documentaries on here - and I know I'm cheating a bit by including them both - these two ESPN produced films illustrate the struggles and tragedies of Scott Hall, nee Razor Ramon during his first WWE run, and the Von Erich family who dominated WCCW wrestling in the 1970s and 1980s.

One of the constants of professional wrestling is that the wrestlers suffer a tremendous amount of damage to their bodies and souls for a variety of reasons. Injuries. Drug and alcohol abuse. Alienation. The two stories presented here show how these two figures (and their families) endured almost unbelievable anguish. Thankfully, both function as redemption stories for the men as they both seem at peace.

Both are streaming on YouTube and I've included links to them here.

2) Lipstick and Dynamite (2004)

For a long time, women's wrestling has been treated far less seriously than it should have been by - oh, I don't know - the WWE. A lot of that is because of the rampant misogyny of the Attitude Era and the company's belief that women wrestlers should be more about looks than skill.

But the history of women's professional wrestling is detailed quite well in this documentary about the pioneers of the art who made names for themselves after the Second World War.  Directed by Ruth Leitman, the film features interviews with The Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young, Gladys Gillem, and Ida Mae Martinez, and others. Like Beyond the Mat, this film illustrates how difficult life was for many of these wrestlers before, during, and after their lives in the ring. But the film also shows how many of the women harbor lingering animosity toward some of their colleagues, especially Moolah and Young for continuing to be involved with the WWE and its derogatory story-lines. 

I believe this is available streaming on Amazon Prime, if you're interested. And I recently discussed this film on an episode of the Random Tandem podcast.. 

1) Hitman Hart: Wrestling with Shadows (1998)

This was a hard number 1, but I went with Paul Jay's documentary over Beyond the Mat for a few reasons here. Primarily, I think this documentary serves as a fascinating historical document, illustrating the set-up to Hart's defection to WCW and the infamous Montreal Screw-job - which is arguably the biggest wrestling moment of the last 30 years.

As a wrestling fan, I used to  be lukewarm on Hart, but I've developed a much more positive view of his career - especially his "Anti-USA" persona around the time of his documentary. But I also see him as an antidote to the crassness of the soon-to-be Attitude Era which, as Rick noted in a recent piece, wasn't all that great per se.

I also think this would appeal to non-wrestling fans because it's such a fascinating story. People understand the falsity of wrestling, but the blurring of reality here makes for a compelling narrative. In addition, Hart is a compelling figure in this documentary: he's both steadfast in his beliefs, but perhaps also a bit naive about the larger picture.

Available on YouTube and a number of other places.

So that's it! My Top V of wrestling documentaries for non-fans and fans alike! Hate my list? Again, blame Rick.

Also, we are on both Facebook and Twitter, so follow / like us there. Or not. But do!

Other WWE Hall of Famers Who Could Be in US Goverment

Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States of America. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I think that's the first time I've ever typed out that particular sentence and now I need to go cry for a bit.


Okay, I'm back.

Wait, what? Linda McMahon is going to lead the Small Business Administration?

I'm now waiting for Linda to rip off a mask after she's sworn in, revealing that she's actually Vince McMahon, complete with yelling "IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!"

Well.... this situation is basically a tragedy now.

Anyway, if you didn't know, Donald Trump is a member of the "Celebrity Wing" of the WWE Hall of Fame, because of course he is. That got me thinking. Trump is the first WWE Hall of Famer to become president, but he might not be the last.

So here is a list of other WWE HOFers who could possibly be president one day, or at least serve in the government in some capacity. I fully expect at least three of these people to be given cabinet positions by the time I hit publish on this post. Speaking of time between writing and time of posting, this piece started off as "funny" and just became depressing as I continued. In that respect, it's like Donald Trump's presidential campaign.

Before I actually start, a couple of notes:
1) Someone must still be alive in order to make this list. As much as we all want the Ultimate Warrior to be president, sadly, that is no longer possible.
2) This isn't a serious list.
3) I wept for the future of our society four times while writing this.

The Bushwackers
Who says you can't have a team of presidents? It's 2016. Anything is possible. Sure, they weren't born in the US either, but we no longer have rules in our society, so who cares? I just want to see them lick another world leader's head. If they can't be president, Secretary of Agriculture makes sense, right?

Lita
Hillary Clinton won't be the nation's first woman president, but maybe Lita will. Is there a "Secretary of Moonsaults?" If there isn't yet, there will be soon. I feel bad for her because Trump will most likely "grab her by the thong."

Ric Flair
Wooooooooooooooooooo. That is all.

Rikishi
He's gotta be Secretary of Defense, right? The USA would have no more enemies and they'd take part in no more wars. No other nation would risk having Rikishi shove his ass in their collective faces and so everyone would just be polite and dignified. We're a few weeks from having "Give Them A Stink Face" be official government policy anyway, so Rikishi needs to be the one to enforce it.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
He would, of course, be the Secretary of U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! The task of "Making America Great Again" would be given entirely to him. Hooooooooo!

Jerry Lawler
We haven't had any sex scandals in the White House in a while, and you have to figure that the Trump Administration needs at least one, so that's why Uncle Jerry is here.

Shawn Michaels
Someone in this administration has to be good at politics. No one is better at politics than Shawn Michaels. That is, except for....

Hulk Hogan
Sure, the WWE doesn't mention him very much anymore, but he's still in the Hall of Fame. Oh, of course, he's said horribly racist things in the past and is, by almost all accounts, a terrible person. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) those facts no longer disqualify someone from becoming president. And he would have to be president. Hulk Hogan doesn't get out of bed for anything other than the main event. He's not traveling to Washington to be a Secretary of anything.

The best part of Hogan being president is that he'd be the last president ever because he'd refuse to lose an election and use his creative control to hang onto that title long after he should have stepped aside.

Linda McMahon and How Everything Sucks

Courtesy NBC News (and I think we all feel like the woman on the right does)

On October 7, I published a piece on this website examining the relationship between Donald Trump, the confidence artist, and his relationship with the WWE.

On December 7, Donald Trump nominated Linda McMahon to head to Small Business Administration.

Obviously, a lot happened between that first post and this one. And lord knows Rick and I - and a lot of people - have had a hard time processing these events. Over the past few weeks, he and I have exchanged a number of tweets, messages, and emails expressing our bewilderment at the state of American politics. I've also had to console family members, friends, and students to a extent I could not have imagined.

Since election night, the absurdity of all of this has not subsided. Alt-Right Nazis feel emboldened to voice their perspectives; newspapers and other media outlets dedicate a lot of space to detailing readers how to spot erroneous news; and, in addition, Ben Carson was selected to lead the Department of Housing and Urban Development.

The McMahon nomination is insulting on a number of levels. In one sense, there's the aura of blatant cronyism with this news that is reflected by other Trump nominations: hell, as an educator, I'm not nearly as angry at the McMahon news as I am about Betsy Devos being named to lead the Department of Education. And in that vein, of course the McMahon family would be - possibly - represented in the Trump administration given their sizable contributions to his campaign and their business dealings that stretch back to the 1980s.

But as a wrestling fan, I find this news really disconcerting. For starters, what sense does it make - again from a logical standpoint, but apparently logic no longer has a place in the United States - to appoint someone who was involved (or at least partially involved) in following to head an administration dedicated to assisting small businesses:

The destruction of the territory system in pro wrestling: after taking over control of the WWF/ E, the McMahon family started an aggressive expansion of their corporation into regional territories, such as the Midwest and South, and raiding the talent of those territories. Perhaps the WWE's worst talent-raid was that of the American Wrestling Association, as the McMahon family lured figures like Hulk Hogan, Gene Okerlund, and Bobby Heenan away from the Minnesota-based company (the talent-raid was so aggressive that even the WWE-produced documentary on the AWA cannot shy away from acknowledging it).

To be clear, she helped to make the WWE a de facto monopoly in the professional wrestling world by helping to destroy smaller organizations. So I think her advice to a small business contractor in Peoria will be "steal all the employees from your rival across town then brag about doing so in DVDs 30 years after the fact."

The product's continual reliance on racism, homophobia, and misogyny:  This almost goes without saying, but the WWE - indeed, most pro wrestling - has relied on these aspects in their storytelling for decades. But as Rick notes in his piece here,What Was Good About the Attitude Era (and What Wasn't) , the WWE achieved the height of its popularity with over violence, stereotypes, and rampant sexism. 

But that has no connection to the Trump campaign. *cough*

The Anti-Union, Anti-Benefits Company: Look, unions are seemingly a bad word in American political and social discourses, but I think wrestlers are long overdue for union representation. Hell, Darren Aronofksy, director of The Wrestler, has spoken at length about wrestlers finding representation, even through SAG. Of course, no company has worked as hard to prevent this as the WWE. When Jesse Ventura tried to form a union in the 1980s, his movement failed in part due to threats of the McMahons toward wrestlers (also Hulk Hogan ratted on Ventura's plan because he's a real American).

In connection to that, the WWE is company that labels its employees independent contractors to not only avoid paying employment taxes, but also to deny wrestlers health insurance and other forms of compensation; indeed, as ex-wrestlers like CM Punk have claimed, it's not only not uncommon for wrestlers to foot their own medical bills, but also to be expected to return before getting any opportunity to properly heal. Oh, and to procure their own travel. And food. And spend an ungodly amount of time traveling.

Actually, we could probably add a second-section entitled abuse of wrestlers here. Oh, the steroids! Remember the steroid trial in the 1990s? The McMahons don't want you to!

And there's so much more I could detail: the company's aggressive use of tax-breaks for producing movies, the hypocrisy of sanitizing the product - again, not that as that was a bad thing - to coincide with her Senate campaign when she was incredibly active in a number of non-sanitized storylines, the hypocrisy of promoting anti-bullying messages when the McMahons are notorious bullies, etc,, etc,, etc,

But the larger issue here is that someone who rose to prominence off the literal sweat and blood of many workers who were not properly compensated is now (likely) going to be in a position to sway government policy for businesses. And frankly, she shouldn't be. Frankly, Donald Trump shouldn't be president either, but here we are.

In my Trump piece, I urged wrestling fans and Americans to not fall for the confidence game that Donald Trump was playing. In that piece's conclusion, I wrote this:

Yet the real confidence artist that appears to be Donald Trump reminds us that actual confidence schemes can be dangerous and destructive to both people and institutions. And he has left a track record of very real confidence schemes that have destroyed the finances and careers of many. And what wrestling fans - and voters - should remember is that there are times when you should consider the implications of our entertainment: wrestling fans should consider the real problems with the WWE and voters should not embrace the illusion of one con man.

Obviously, my appeal to voters and wrestling fans did not work. But it's important to remember that Linda McMahon has been involved in the destruction of many careers and businesses. The legacy of the McMahon family has not only been about dominating the professional wrestling world, but also helping to eliminate WCW, ECW, the AWA, and the WCCW, as well as abusing and defaming wrestlers who dared challenge their business practices.

But what I would ask wrestling fans to think about, especially if they are like Rick and I and lean toward the left and are frustrated by the results of the election, is to consider our own complicity in all of this. I don't mean that we actively campaigned for Trump or voted for him, but we have subscribed to the WWE Network, purchased DVDs, gone to live events, or purchased merchandise. To an extent, Linda McMahon's success was a by-product of our own involvement and in many cases our investment.

We obviously cannot go back and change the history of what we did spend on the WWE product, but we can start to consider how much we will be planning to spend in the future. For me, it has been clear for a long time that the brain-trust of the WWE holds values that are extremely different from mine. And for a long time, I was able to reconcile that fact by noting that most owners of the sports team I follow would not vote for the same candidates I would.

Yet now, one of those owners - along with the man that she and her company have been mythologizing for years - is in the position to do severe damage to not only wrestlers and rival companies, but the fabric of the American economy and society. And I think it's time for we wrestling fans to take a very long look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we want to support those figures any longer.

I feel it's time to give the WWE - and, by extension Linda McMahon - the boot.

House of Hardcore / Great Lakes Wrestling, Waukesha, WI

I was a teenager in the Philadelphia area during the mid-1990s, and, as such, I gravitated toward ECW. As someone who was tired of both WWF / E and WCW, I found ECW exciting and dangerous, and I would watch the show every Friday night (or was it Thursday?) at midnight on Sports Channel Philadelphia.

At some point, I'll write a piece about my relationship and recollections of "growing up ECW" (shit that's a good title), but for the time being, I think it's important to know that I have a complicated relationship with the company. On the one hand, it rekindled my love of pro wrestling and connected me to 1990s counter-culture; on the other, I cannot condone its violence or views toward women.

I mention this because on December 3, I attended Tommy Dreamer's House of Hardcore show in Waukesha, Wisconsin. As Rick can attest, I had concerns about this show: the Expo Center is not the most pleasant of accommodations, Waukesha is basically "Trump country" of this state, and Ryback was performing on the card. But more than that, I wasn't sure how I'd feel seeing a hard-core show live in 2016.

And I'm still not sure how I feel about the show, and, in some ways, wrestling in general.

To quote Dennis Lemieux from Slap Shot, "My allergy to those fucking fans has returned." And in contrast to my experiences with Mondo Lucha (and even the WWE Smackdown taping I attended in March), I had a really hard time dealing with the fans at this event. Again, this was a clear cross-section of Red State America, but there was also a heavy contingent of snarky twenty-somethings that were both "in on the joke," but also mocking the entire art of wrestling show. In fact, I eventually moved from one section because I grew frustrated with a group of people who were laughing way too hard at their "wow, how is that permitted in the rules" and "god, this might be fake guys!" jokes.

There were also a number of "snarky smarks" in the crowd. While there was a large number of kids - and one large group of 5th grade-aged youngsters who chanting "We want tables!" a few times - a lot of the crowd just chanted as you'd expect other fan bases to react. They chanted "you still got it" at Mickie James (fair enough), and the "this is awesome" chant directed at the match of the evening. But there were also a number of homophobic and overly-sexualized comments loudly uttered by fans. I'm not claiming that I wasn't expecting to hear such things, but I am asserting there's no place for them, even in Trump-World.

By the way, dear wrestling fans, stop chanting "this is awesome" at every show. Western society has already diminished the meaning of the word awesome enough --- getting your Starbucks order quickly is not "awesome," your cat is not "awesome," and a wrestling match - no matter how incredible it may be - is not "awesome." Ya know what's awesome? Jupiter. The distances in space. The universe.

*angrily throws on corduroy jacket, grades papers* 

As for the wrestling, well, let's just say there were some highlights and lowlights Matt Cross - who's quickly becoming one of my favorite current wrestlers - had an amazing match with Tony Nese that earned a standing ovation from the crowd; meanwhile, Colt Cabana was his comic best in a match with a Canadian wrestler. But the rest of the card suffered in comparison. Mr Anderson had a dullllllllllllllll, clunkkkkkkkkkkkky match that just sorta ended (did you know he's from Green Bay?). And then there Tommy Dreamer's tag team match with Mickie James that eventually featured run-ins from Hornswoggle and *sigh* Ryback.

Was this match interesting? Not really. For starters, I hate inter-gender matches. Besides that, I feel very conflicted about watching Dreamer still wrestle. On the Stone Cold Steve Austin podcast, he outlined his litany of injures and concussions, and I get a bit uneasy seeing him take bumps. This is not to say I didn't enjoy seeing one of my favorite wrestlers from my teenage years in person. But it felt odd.

In addition, House of Hardcore bills itself as "free of politics," which is a statement that's patently absurd. Claiming that you or an organization is devoid of political thought or action is itself a political claim......

*fights impulse to go full-on English professor for the second time in this post*

There's also something odd about a show being called "House of Hardcore" when there wasn't - until the end of the evening - anything resembling "hardcore." To be fair, a lot of the violence of hard core wrestling doesn't make me comfortable (seriously, watch the Barbed-Wire match between Sabu and Terry Funk and note your honest reaction), so I think it's probably a good thing there's a dearth of hard-core components.

Edit: as a few followers on Twitter pointed out, Dreamer uses "hardcore" as a synonym for hard-work, but I still feel like evoking the term hard-core when so many fans interpret the words in other ways is misleading. 

I should also say by this point, I was getting tired from standing. General admission tickets didn't come with actual seats, so after 2.5 hours of standing on concrete, I was ready for a break. Also, my drink was really watered-down. Also, my soft pretzel sucked.

The other main event of the night was a steel-cage match between the stars of the Milwaukee television show, The Pro Wrestling Report with Al Snow and Abyss in their corners (Milwaukee is apparently one of, if not the, only market in the country with its own wrestling commentary show -- although it may be off the air at this point as I haven't seen it advertised in awhile). It was at this point that things started to get "hard-core" as Abyss dumped a bag of thumb-tacks onto the mat and then was joined in the ring by his pals to destroy Al Snow...

And then, the guitar rift of "Enter Sandman" filled the arena.

I have to admit as Sandman entered, I marked out a little. Despite whatever wrestling shortcomings he has, you have to admit the man can make an entrance. In fact, he bumped into me as he walked onto the railing of the main stairwell. I took the pic at the top of this page at the moment (and I think I took a nice pic actually) and then this one where he poured beer into a fan's mouth.

That's pretty great, admit it.

But again, the fans. During both Dreamer and Sandman's match, they began to chant "ECW! ECW!," but they were saying "DUB" instead of "W." To be honest, I never really heard the "DUB." Perhaps it's my East Coast-raised ear, but it always clearly sounded like a W to me. When did this shit start? I blame the WWE somehow.

To be fair, I always blame the WWE.

And then the Sandman caned a couple of guys and left. One of the other wrestlers won the match? I don't even remember.

I left the arena right after the end of the steel-cage match. There certainly were enjoyable moments of the evening, but on the whole, I can't say I enjoyed myself: the fans got on my nerves early and often, my stomach was bothering me, and the matches were uneven. But more importantly to me, this was a show that forced me to confront things about professional wrestling that I don't particularly care for, and I have to consider what that means for me as a fan moving forward.

Top V: Things Wrestling Fans Ignore to Enjoy Wrestling

Wrestling isn't the most logical thing. Yeah, I know, it's shocking to hear.

However, there are two types of "logic issues" is you ask me. One is simply stupid and a result of lazy writing. It's really frustrating when, for example, two guys who had a bitter feud with one another are suddenly friendly with each other with no explanation given. That's the sort of thing that drives me nuts. Things need make sense at least somewhat.

The other type of issue could be referred to as a "trope," but I'm not going to do that because I'm not entirely sure how to use that word correctly. Anyway, there are certain things that are consistent "flaws" in wrestling but ones that you have to ignore in order to enjoy the show. We all forget about these things when watching because actually thinking about the logic behind them would ruin the program.

So, today, I'm stealing JohnDosPassos2's gimmick and doing a Top V. These are five things that you'll need to ignore if you want to enjoy wrestling.

Why all of that Stuff is Under the Ring

When it comes to "foreign objects" in wrestling, most of them come from under the ring. We've all seen wrestlers pull chairs, ladders, tables, etc. out from under the ring to use them on their opponents. Some of this stuff makes sense. You can assume the chairs are there because that's where the ring crew puts the extras after they've set everything up. Ladders are probably used while putting up the set, so, sure, those make sense too. The fire extinguisher? It's there for safety.

But why tables? When would the ring crew use tables? The type of tables that are pulled out from under the ring aren't really ever seen anywhere else in the arena. So why are they there? And don't get me started on kendo sticks. Why on earth are those under the ring?

This issue isn't as glaring anymore in today's environment but, in the Attitude Era, it was common to find all kind of bizarre things under the ring inclding cookie sheets, stop signs, handcuffs, thumbtacks and more.

One theory is that the wrestlers sneak those items under the ring when no one is watching, but that doesn't really do it for me. Plus, if that's the case, why don't more wrestlers take items away before the show starts? I know if I was facing a guy who often hid kendo sticks under the ring, I'd find a way to remove them before the match started. Or I'd do something like empty out his thumbtacks bag and fill it with candy. That would be great, actually. Imagine Mick Foley pulling out a bag of what he assumes are thumbtacks and finding out that they've been replaced by delicious fruity Skittles.

Why Wait a Week to Resolve Issues they Could have Easily Handled Earlier?

Picture it: Wrestler A and Wrestler B have a tense moment in the ring. Maybe they're a tag team and Wrestler A accidentally punches Wrestler B in the face, costing the team the match. They then start arguing with one another.

Flash forward to next week's show and the two meet up again backstage to discuss what's happened. Or maybe Wrestler A "calls out" Wrestler B in the ring. Why did they wait so long to have this discussion? Sometimes wrestlers try to cover this flaw by saying something like "I've been trying to call you all week" but this doesn't often happen. We're supposed to just believe they waited an entire week to talk to one another, despite seeing each other frequently on the road.

Waiting for the next episode works on most "episodic television" shows because there's no set amount of time between episodes. The Walking Dead can end on a cliffhanger and come back six months later in the same moment as if no time has passed. But, in wrestling, we know that it's been one week between shows. Both wrestlers have left the arena, gone back to their hotels, and performed at several house shows in between episodes of Raw. Why did they wait until the next televised show to discuss their issue?

Why Anyone Discusses "Secret" Plans Backstage

We've all seen two heels scheming backstage hundreds of times. Why do they do this? At this point we all know that there are television cameras everywhere in the arena. Why would you "sneakily" enter someone else's locker room and assume that it wasn't just broadcast on live TV? And why do faces never use the information they've learned from these backstage moments to their benefit? Are the not watching the show?

Wrestlers only Slump over the Rope when they're Facing Rey Mysterio

Think about it: Have you ever seen a wrestler lay prone over the rope when they're not facing Rey Mysterio and about to eat a 619? The same is true for other moves. Why do wrestlers keep running when they're Irish whipped off of the ropes? Why do they bend over so deeply when Triple H kicks them in the stomach before Pedigree? Why do they get up and walk towards Shawn Michaels when they can hear him stomping to "tune up the band" before Sweet Chin Music?

Everything About Finishing Moves

Your finishing move is supposed to be the best move you have. It's the one you've practiced more than any other and you're so good at it that it nearly always ends the match. So why don't you try to hit it more often? I get that some moves require wearing down your opponent so that you can get them in a state where the move is possible, but what about moves like the RKO? If Orton can hit it "out of nowhere" why not do it whenever he can? Even if it's the first move of the match and it might not end the match, if it's your strongest move, why not try it as often as possible?

Like, when the Big Show's finisher was the WMD punch (or whatever, I have no idea, I don't pay attention to the Big Show) why didn't he use it fifty times in one match? There's basically no risk to trying it and if it fails, it's okay, you can just try again.

And why does each wrestler have a unique move? If the Stone Cold Stunner is effective and relatively easy to apply on nearly anyone, why doesn't half of the roster use it?


I understand why all of these things happen from a marketing or storytelling purpose and I'm fine with ignoring them in order to enjoy wrestling but, when you think about it, they kind of make no sense.

Top V: List of Wrestling Thanks for 2016

So here in the United States, we are rapidly approaching Thanksgiving. It's normally a time to give thanks for the people, events, and things in our lives.

And I do have a lot to be thankful about. I have my health, family, books, friends, and Rick --- who's promised me a sofa to sleep on in case things get even worse politically here in the US.

A little later, I'm going to do a list of grievances for 2016 (I think it should be a Top V, but it might have to be a Top X because 2016 has been the worst). But for now, let's pause and give thanks to the following great things about 2016 and wrestling.

1) The New Day's Wrestlemania Entrance

Listen, we can have a debate over whether or not The New Day has worn out their welcome (for the record, I believe that they are given poor material by the writing staff and that their characters should be given some adversity), but I think we can all agree that their "Cereal Box Entrance" was one of the highlights of a relatively dull Wrestlemania.

As a metaphor, I think we all want to have our "come out of a giant  box of cereal moment" and then have people cheer us doing so. Think about it. You know it's true.

2) Mondo Lucha in Milwaukee

I've gushed over Mondo Lucha before - such as in this blog post here Mondo Lucha - but I want to reiterate how much I enjoyed the experience of seeing a legitimately hot crowd and seeing a performance that, even for one night, reinvigorated my love of professional wrestling. I think as fans, what a lot of us are missing from the entertainment is either the element of surprise or the ability to "let ourselves go" and get wrapped up in the moment.

Again, and this is a preview of my grievance list, I've grown really tired of the need of fans to try and hijack shows - even at some independent wrestling events. But there wasn't that at Mondo Lucha. It was fans understanding their roles and embracing the moment.

3) Lesnar vs Goldberg

Speaking of the unexpected....

There have been a few moments this year where fans have been partially surprised: Sasha Banks's loss at SummerSlam -- uh......hmm...I thought there were others. Anyway, because so many of us are "dialed-in" to the seemingly endless array of news sites, rumor sites, and dirt sheets, wrestling fans seem to "know" what's going to happen before it happens.

While I cannot stand the McMahon family, nor their ideology or politics, I can emphasize with their struggles to surprise people when seemingly "everyone" knows what's going to happen next. And I think this knowledge makes being a wrestling fan that more tiresome.

As such, the squash match from last Sunday's Survivor Series was great. No one seemed to see it coming; sure, some people forecast a Goldberg win, but I cannot think of anyone who anticipated such a quick win. And sure, I was pissed at first --- but soon after, I started to appreciate the brilliance of this moment. It not only gives these characters something new and added depth, but it was also shocking. It was a moment where you sat there and thought "did I just see that?"

4) New Japan Pro Wrestling / Dramatic Dream Team Pro-Wrestling

As you can probably figure out, I've started to move away from the WWE as a source of my pro wrestling fandom and started to seek out alternatives. I've gone to more Indy shows, watched older regional territories, and fallen in love with Japanese wrestling. I even bought the t-shirt pictured above (and I rarely buy wrestling t-shirts).

I can't quite explain why I've fallen so hard for Japanese wrestling. Perhaps it's the fact that it's not the WWE; perhaps it's the fact the fans are not completely obsessed with hijacking every show they attend; perhaps it's the fact I adore many elements of Japanese culture. In any event, I've taken to watching older episodes of NJPW on Axis Tv (if you have Sling, you can watch!) as well as many clips online as I can (I haven't committed to buying their version of the WWE network ----- yet). Also, I'm buying a Tetsuya Naito t-shirt soon.

And what can I say about the ludicrousness and absurdity of DDT wrestling. I think at times wrestling fans can take the entertainment too seriously, and the legendary matches of this promotion throw water on that seriousness. If you haven't seen the KAT-TOO vs Honda / Dino match, here's a quick overview: SB Nation Japanese Comedy

5) Nakamura vs Zayn

If you know someone who isn't a wrestling fan, show them this match.

If you know someone who's a lapse wrestling fan, show them this match.

If you know someone who's a fan of theatre, but hates wrestling, show them this match.

Show everyone this match.

This, honestly, was the best match of the best show of the year. Watch this again. Eat cranberry sauce (homemade, not from a can dingus). Watch this again. Drink wine. Drink bourbon. Eat some pie. Give thanks for the good in wrestling.

Quick 2016 Survivor Series Recap Thoughts

So I watched Survivor Series tonight, but not live. I started at the beginning around 10pm and now it's like 2am. Anyway, like the nerd that I am, I took some notes throughout the night and here we are.


Survivor Series Elimination Match- Team Raw (Bayley, Alicia Fox, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks and Charlotte) w/Dana Brook vs. Team Smackdown (Becky Lynch, Naomi, Alexa Bliss, Carmella and Natalya)

There is certainly more star power on Raw, but Alexa Bliss surprisingly over. I liked Natalya coming in for Nikki Bella (and it was probably Natalya who attacked her), mostly because Canada.
Whenever Michael Cole isn't calling a match, I'm happy.

It's also really nice to see a real women's division with various storylines. I didn't think WWE could actually pull it off, but they did. I originally thought the women should all be on one show, but they've actually built up two entertaining divisions.

This was a well-booked match that I enjoyed.

The crowd is already starting to get smarky and annoying. I hate today's WWE crowds so much.

I expected a Natalya "Survivor Series Screwjob" whenever anyone attempted a sharpshooter.

My only issue was that they had the monster Nia Jax tap. I understand she wasn't going to win the match, but tapping looks much weaker than being pinned, in my opinion.

Charlotte's attack at the end was good and I hope this ends with Bayley taking the title at WrestleMania.

Good stuff all around in this match.

Hey, did you know that Fantasy Warfare Becomes Reality tonight?


WWE Intercontinental Championship Match- The Miz w/ Maryse (c) vs. Sami Zayn

Oh fuck Cole is back.

The Miz is a great heel. He gets booed for his heel work, which is rare these days. Adding to that tonight is that Sami Zayn is the perfect face.

It's so weird hearing the ACC cheer for the words "Montreal, Quebec, Canada."

Someone should tell the announcers that saying "prestigious intercontinental champion" over and over doesn't make it so.

The ending was an interesting variation on the "screwjob" that I thought worked. Miz and Maryse are so great.

Michael Cole: "I think Maryse rung the bell!" when she was clearly on camera ringing the bell. He's the worst.


Survivor Series Elimination Match – Team Raw (Enzo and Cass, The Shining Stars, The Club, Sheamus and Cesaro & The New Day) w/Xavier Woods vs. Team Smackdown (Heath Slater and Rhyno, Breezango, The Usos, The Hype Bros & American Alpha)

Enzo and Cass needed more Drake references, imo.

I want to like Sheamus, but... I just can't for some reason.

Cesaro struggling to get his suit off was funnier than it should have been to me.

I don't care. I still don't like Heath Slater.

The Uso heel turn was a great move for them. They're really good heels. And how annoying are the Hype Bros? Most of Team Smackdown is super annoying in this one.

I'll be honest. I skipped most of this match. The Cesaro 619 was good.

Crowd, stop with the fucking "10" thing holy fuck. You guys are terrible.

So Smackdown definitely wins the remaining elimination match, right?

WWE Cruiserweight Championship- Brian Kendrick (c) vs. Kalisto 

THE Brian Kendrick is great. But why doesn't it say "the" in his on screen graphics?

I really dig how they redo the ring and everything for cruiserweight matches.

Mauro Ranallo and Corey Graves make a good commentary team.

Oh God Baron Corbin... STOP TRYING TO MAKE BARON CORBIN HAPPEN.

I still think the cruiserweight division would make more sense on Smackdown, especially due to Daniel Bryan and Mauro Ranallo being there.


Survivor Series Elimination Match- Team Smackdown (Shane McMahon, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, AJ Styles & Dean Ambrose) w/James Ellsworth vs. Team Raw (Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens) 

Jericho having a subtitle of "Kevin's Best Friend" during the video is so great.

I'll admit that I don't really watch the weekly WWE shows, so I don't know or get what the James Ellsworth thing is.

The Undertaker should have taken Shane's place in this match. Having the commissioner fill a spot on the team makes it look like Smackdown doesn't have enough guys to field a team.

Why didn't AJ come out last for his team? He's the WWE World Champion.

At least they're not pretending that Braun Strowman and Bray Wyatt have no history. In the past, they would have ignored their history completely.

Rollins wearing a half and half shirt is great .

I'm so bored with people booing Roman Reigns. He's a perfectly good upper card wrestler. He's the US Champion and he's not in many main events these days. Booing him like crazy is just so old and tired now. He's entertaining and there's no reason for the hate any longer. Crowds are the worst.

Speaking of which, outside of Roman (technically) does Raw have any faces?

A little thing at the beginning that I liked was Strowman ripping off his Raw shirt right as Owen's put his on.

"Fantasy Warfare Just Got Real"

One of the commentators said that this is the "Home of the Maple LEAVES."

Did they forget the Jericho/AJ feud? And here I was giving them credit for remembering the past.

Maybe they need to do more storylines about the former members of the Shield and how they were "one of the greatest groups ever" and now they broke up.

JBL is especially terrible tonight. Like, when did Raw have the Gobbledygooker, JBL?? Is all WWE history Raw history now?

"IF your commissioner wasn't such an egomaniac he'd be out here!?" "Our commissioner is Stephanie McMahon." 

Strowman is boring. This match is boring. Maybe it's because I'm watching it at 1am. I don't know. At least the way Strowman was eliminated kept him looking strong, unlike Nia Jax's elimination in the first match.

At least Ellsworth didn't hit those Pizzaiolo and Pizza Nova boxes when he went off the stage. They make good pizza.

The Shane McMahon elimination was weird. Why did they cut to some random shot of a woman in the crowd right before Shane was counted down for three? Did Shane accidentally kick out? They never showed the replay. What happened there?

If they wanted to mention the Shield 300 times, Dean Ambrose should have helped triple power bomb AJ through a table with Roman and Rollins. Oh. He did. Okay! That would have been a cooler moment if they didn't mention the Shield a million times. You could see it coming as soon as he came back out. Drop the Shield references now.

If Orton joined the Wyatt Family, who does he look, dress and act exactly like Randy Orton always does?

I was really hoping that Reigns would win the match single-handedly because people would have been so mad. At this point, I just want this crowd to be upset. But they'd probably chant "holy shit", "this is awesome" or "10" even if they were.

JBL yelled " RAW WINS! RAW WINS!" as the match ended and then tried to cover for it. He's terrible.

Does Erick Rowan still exist?


"Fantasy Warfare Just Got Real."

Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs. Goldberg

Goldberg's locker room walk is cool. The security has never made sense to me, but whatever.

At least Lesnar is being treated like a heel by the crowd. Goldberg is super over.

Holy shit. A squash. WOW.

I can see that being disappointed because it was so hyped up but, man, I'm excited. What a shock.
I have no idea why this happened or how this happened or what, but man. I feel like I'm probably in the minority here, but I liked that booking. The crowd was happy about it. They didn't chant "bullshit" or "refund" or anything.

When I realized that there were only a few minutes left in the show and the match hadn't started yet, I assumed that Lesnar had squashed Goldberg and I was ready to be pissed off about it. This was much better.

This is shocking. This is a WCW guy getting a huge send off by WWE and getting to destroy Lesnar, who has been unstoppable for years. It was fun to watch and it will certainly create a buzz.


I didn't need to see Bill Goldberg's son shirtless though.

An Ode to Survivor Series Team Names

It's November and, in addition to the potential end of society as we know it, that means it's nearly time for Survivor Series!

I'm going to be honest and say that I haven't watched much WWE programming in months, but that I have renewed my Network subscription for Survivor Series. Not only is it airing from my hometown of Toronto, but I just love Survivor Series. Looking at the card, it should be a good show.

Now, I understand the reasoning for the all of the "Team Raw" vs "Team SmackDown" matches and that's all fine and good, but I can't help but miss the Survivor Series team names of yesteryear. They haven't had really good team names in many, many years (Instead settling for "Team [BLANK]" at least 99% of the time) so this is an ode to the days of more creative naming.

Here are a few of my favourite Survivor Series team names.

The Visionaries 
Rick Martel, The Warlord and Power and Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) (with Slick) 
Survivor Series 1990

The best part of this team name is that it's designed to mock his opponent. If you're not familiar with 1990 in WWF, you might not know that Rick Martel "blinded" Jake The Snake Roberts by spraying his "Arrogance" cologne into Roberts' eyes. Jake Roberts was the captain of the opposing team ("The Vipers") in this match and thus Rick Martel named his team "The Visionaries" because (get it?) he could see. And his opponent couldn't.

Oh 1990, you were a different time.

The Rude Brood
Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond Rougeau)
Survivor Series 1989

There's just something about the name "Rude Brood" that I like. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good rhyme. Also, just look at that photo. Really look at it. Imagine showing someone this photo the next time you say "I like professional wrestling."


Roddy's Rowdies
Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka and The Bushwhackers (Butch and Luke)
Survivor Series 1989

Facing off against the Rude Brood at Survivor Series 1989 was "Roddy's Rowdies." Isn't it strange to see Roddy Piper teaming with Jimmy Snuka? I don't remember how this came to be, to be honest.


The Foreign Fanatics
Yokozuna, Ludvig Borga, and The Quebecers (Jacques and Pierre)
Survivor Series 1993

Pierre was "injured" before this event and so Crush took his place. Nothing says "Foreign" like having a guy from Hawaii on your team. The main reason I love this team so much is because it has "Evil Man From Finland" Ludvig Borga on it. He had an incredible gimmick because, when you think of foreign power invading the United States with cruelty and violence, you definitely think of Finland. Cruel, imposing Finland.

The opposing team was the "All Americans" but Tatanka was also "injured" and so his spot was taken by The Undertaker, who was suddenly really proud to be an American.

Or at least a fan of the original 13 colonies. I have no idea why both of these teams had injury replacements. Maybe the original line-up wasn't enough of a draw.

Yes, this match was the main event of the show somehow.


The Teamsters 
Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart and Jeff Jarrett
Survivor Series 1994

Okay, not only is it super weird to see Jim Neidhart, Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett teaming with Shawn Michaels and Diesel, but the team is named after a labour union. Get it? Because "Diesel" is the character's name and also the fuel that powers trucks! Get it? GET IT!?

What was Good About the "Attitude Era" and What Wasn't

The WWF's "Attitude Era" is held in great regard. WWE 13 was basically sold on "Hey, remember when you liked wrestling? We have that in a game!" If you have the WWE Network, you'd be forgiven if you thought that the "Attitude Era" was the only era in company history. Between the Monday Night Wars show (which is quite good, if not repetitive) to the "classic clips" that they choose to show to whatever it is that Jerry Springer hosts, the Attitude Era is all over the place. Sometimes it's the only thing people focus on.

This is heightened by the fact that you can't watch or read anything about wrestling on the internet without hearing "this would have been so much better in the Attitude Era."

As a teenager in that era, I was the target market. I had a DX shirt that said "Suck It" on the back that my mom wouldn't let me wear to school. I loved watching Sable as much as any other straight teenage boy. I thought it was super cool when Mankind flew off of the Hell in a Cell.

That said, the Attitude Era wasn't perfect.

However, before I get to that, I want to go over a few things that were great about the era. I don't want to get all "grumpy old man" right off the bat, so here are some positives:

Everyone Had Storylines

Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock were the big stars of the Attitude Era. But so was Mankind, Triple H, Kane, The Undertaker, the New Age Outlaws, Edge and Christian, the Hardy Boyz, The Dudleyz, Chris Jericho, and various others. Any one of those people could have main evented a pay-per-view and done well. That's a lot of guys to be stars all at once. Was the WWF simply blessed with a strong roster at the time? Yes and no.

Austin and Rock were definitely generational stars and franchise players. The Undertaker was already a legend. Mick Foley was a great personality and so were many of the others. But the reason they were all so big? They all had storylines.

The Attitude Era wasn't just Austin versus McMahon. It was also Austin versus Rock. And Rock versus Foley. And The Nation versus DX. And The Hardyz vs the Dudleyz vs Edge and Christian. And Trish versus Lita. And The Undertaker vs Kane. And many, many other feuds.

And those were just the main ones. People like Val Venis, Al Snow, The Godfather, Goldust, Big Boss Man, Big Show, The Brood, D-Lo Brown, and nearly everyone else also had storylines. Some of them were downright awful (we'll get to that later) but they all had them.

Promos Before Matches

This might just be my personal preference, but I loved how so many wrestlers got to do brief promos before matches. Whether it be the Godfather's "Hooooooooo Train!" bit or Val Venis' "Hellloooo Ladies!" stuff, they all got them. Not only did this give the wrestlers a chance to differentiate themselves and show some personality, but it also created several catchphrases and crowd participation moments.

It also got people over.

Where would the New Age Outlaws have been without "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages...."? Triple H without "Let's get ready to suck it!!!!!"? Edge and Christian without the five-second pose? The Rock without his millions and millions of catchphrases?

Shades of Grey

This is an overdone point because there were still heels and faces in the Attitude Era, but the fact that someone turning face didn't immediately make them best friends with the other faces was great. The Rock and Austin and Mankind were all faces at the same time at some point and, while this meant that they weren't always at each other's throats, they also weren't instantly buddies either. It was more realistic.

And now.... what was bad.

Sex and Violence

Let's get this out of the way right away. Obviously I am not 100% against sex and violence. As a teenager, I was certainly not against sex and violence. However, there is a problem with how often the WWF used these two "cheap pops" during the era.

The main problem? You always have to do more.

Sable taking off her top and wearing a handprint bikini was certainly shocking when it first happened. So was The Rock nearly killing Mick Foley with chairshots. But where can you go from there? The next step is full nudity (I'm looking at you, The Kat) and Foley flying off of the cell. And then what?

Ummm... maybe Mae Young gets naked and Jeff Hardy throws himself off of something high? And then Shane McMahon throws himself off of something higher? And Kane sets himself on fire? And then what?

WWF used sex and violence so much during the Attitude Era that we were all completely numb to it. If a match didn't have Foley falling on thumbtacks while someone ripped off Trish's clothes, we didn't care. That's what made it bad. (That and the obvious sexism of the "Divas" being in bra and panties matches, and gravy bowl matches, and mud matches, and swimming pool matches, and spanking matches, and pillow fights, and....)

To modern audiences, the Attitude Era looks incredibly tasteless. And, to an extent, it was tasteless even back then. There was sexism, stereotyping, and cruel jokes all over the place. Calling someone "gay" was a top insult. It looks really, really bad now, but I'll let SOME of it slide due to the fact that it was nearly 20 years ago. But that doesn't mean it was good. It was still way too much.

They Still had "Other Jobs"

Modern WWE loves to make fun of the days when a lot of wrestlers had "other jobs" like a garbage man or a hockey player or a tax man. But they didn't exactly drop that idea completely when they got to the Attitude Era. They just made it more "xtreme," which was the style at the time.

Big Boss Man was still a cop. Val Venis was a porn star. The Godfather was a pimp. They also had bikers and Latino gang members and a wrestling vampire. Some of the gimmicks may have been more realistic in the era, but some people were still basically cartoon characters. Just edgy ones.

The Wrestling was Actually Pretty Bad

There aren't very many "classic" Attitude Era matches. Now, that could be okay because the focus was on the storytelling much of the time, but it's worth noting. WWF didn't start putting on classic matches on a regular basis until guys like Kurt Angle showed up and Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit and Eddie Guererro came over from WCW.

The Attitude Era was known for two-minute garbage matches and people getting hit with stuff. It also created such all-time classics as the Inferno Match, the Kennel from Hell, and much more. If you liked seeing guys hit each other with garbage cans and cookie sheets (which were always under the ring, for some reason) then the Attitude Era was for you!

But, truthfully, even those who liked that style got sick of it after they saw it 300 times.

Kick. Wham. Stunner.

People these days get upset when someone like John Cena or Roman Reigns wins all the time. But what about Steve Austin? Whenever there was an Austin segment or match you could have bet money on it ending with "kick, wham, Stunner" and Austin drinking beer. It happened way too often. And that's not me being a bitter old man and looking back and getting upset. It bothered me at the time too. You knew that, even if Vince McMahon managed to hurt Austin somewhat, it was eventually going to end with a Stunner and a beer bath.

Now, I'm not saying that it's bad to have your top face come out as the victor in the end, but it would have been nice to see him do it in a slightly different way from time-to-time.

Terrible Storylines

When you combine "everyone has a storyline" with "everything is sex and violence" you get things like Chyna setting Mark Henry up with a 'friend' who ended up being a crossdresser only to have him find out and yell "A PENIS!" while they were making out.

That actually happened.

And that wasn't all. The Attitude Era also gave us Big Boss Man cooking Al Snow's dog and serving it to him, Mae Young giving birth to a hand, Kai En Tai's "choppy choppy your pee pee," Billy Gunn being "Mr. Ass" and having THIS theme song, the Undertaker trying to embalm Steve Austin alive, Beaver Cleavage, Droz being Hawk's drug dealer and then pushing him off of the stage during his suicide attempt, Trish barking like a dog, and much more.

The constant need to "be shocking" created some of the worst storylines known to man. This need also led to my next point.

Heel and Face Turns All Over the Place

Some heel turns were classics. The Rock pretending to turn face while he was actually working with McMahon worked out great when the whole plan was revealed at Survivor Series 1998. So was Triple H rejoining Chyna only to turn on X-Pac and join the Corporation at WrestleMania 15. But the need to shock created "swerves" all over the place and it got really confusing. How many times did Kane and the Undertaker split up and then reunite? Or what about Vince and Shane? And that brings us to.....

The McMahon Problem Began

This peaked at WrestleMania 16's "McMahon in Every Corner" match. Rather than just have The Rock versus Triple H for the WWF title like everyone wanted, the WWF went all in on the McMahon family drama. And they did this A LOT.

Shane and Vince broke up and got back together so many times you'd think they were a high school relationship. And it got old really, really fast. Remember the "Higher Power?" Shane McMahon had FINALLY got one up on his dad when he took over the Corporation and then merged it with the Ministry of Darkness and then.... Vince was the leader all along. I've honestly forgotten how many times the McMahon's feuded and got back together and it's probably because my memory blocked it out.

The worst part? The McMahon family drama continued FOR YEARS! What did the Invasion end up as? Vince versus Shane and Stephanie. The Brand Split? Shane versus Stephanie. It happened over and over and over and over and over so many times that it's lost all meaning.

The Bottom Line

The Attitude Era had a lot of great moments. It was entertaining. You were rarely bored watching. But that doesn't mean there weren't issues. It also doesn't mean that adding some "omg blood and boobies" to today's product would instantly make it better.

I'd like to see the modern WWE adapt some of the good Attitude Era concepts to their shows today. However, in the age of the brand split, three-hour Raws and "special events" every two weeks, that might not be possible.