Other WWE Hall of Famers Who Could Be in US Goverment
Okay, I'm back.
Wait, what? Linda McMahon is going to lead the Small Business Administration?
Anyway, if you didn't know, Donald Trump is a member of the "Celebrity Wing" of the WWE Hall of Fame, because of course he is. That got me thinking. Trump is the first WWE Hall of Famer to become president, but he might not be the last.
So here is a list of other WWE HOFers who could possibly be president one day, or at least serve in the government in some capacity. I fully expect at least three of these people to be given cabinet positions by the time I hit publish on this post. Speaking of time between writing and time of posting, this piece started off as "funny" and just became depressing as I continued. In that respect, it's like Donald Trump's presidential campaign.
Before I actually start, a couple of notes:
1) Someone must still be alive in order to make this list. As much as we all want the Ultimate Warrior to be president, sadly, that is no longer possible.
2) This isn't a serious list.
3) I wept for the future of our society four times while writing this.
The Bushwackers
Who says you can't have a team of presidents? It's 2016. Anything is possible. Sure, they weren't born in the US either, but we no longer have rules in our society, so who cares? I just want to see them lick another world leader's head. If they can't be president, Secretary of Agriculture makes sense, right?
Lita
Hillary Clinton won't be the nation's first woman president, but maybe Lita will. Is there a "Secretary of Moonsaults?" If there isn't yet, there will be soon. I feel bad for her because Trump will most likely "grab her by the thong."
Ric Flair
Wooooooooooooooooooo. That is all.
Rikishi
He's gotta be Secretary of Defense, right? The USA would have no more enemies and they'd take part in no more wars. No other nation would risk having Rikishi shove his ass in their collective faces and so everyone would just be polite and dignified. We're a few weeks from having "Give Them A Stink Face" be official government policy anyway, so Rikishi needs to be the one to enforce it.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan
He would, of course, be the Secretary of U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! The task of "Making America Great Again" would be given entirely to him. Hooooooooo!
We haven't had any sex scandals in the White House in a while, and you have to figure that the Trump Administration needs at least one, so that's why Uncle Jerry is here.
Shawn Michaels
Someone in this administration has to be good at politics. No one is better at politics than Shawn Michaels. That is, except for....
Hulk Hogan
Sure, the WWE doesn't mention him very much anymore, but he's still in the Hall of Fame. Oh, of course, he's said horribly racist things in the past and is, by almost all accounts, a terrible person. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) those facts no longer disqualify someone from becoming president. And he would have to be president. Hulk Hogan doesn't get out of bed for anything other than the main event. He's not traveling to Washington to be a Secretary of anything.
The best part of Hogan being president is that he'd be the last president ever because he'd refuse to lose an election and use his creative control to hang onto that title long after he should have stepped aside.
Leave a Comment