Top V: Things Wrestling Fans Ignore to Enjoy Wrestling

Wrestling isn't the most logical thing. Yeah, I know, it's shocking to hear.

However, there are two types of "logic issues" is you ask me. One is simply stupid and a result of lazy writing. It's really frustrating when, for example, two guys who had a bitter feud with one another are suddenly friendly with each other with no explanation given. That's the sort of thing that drives me nuts. Things need make sense at least somewhat.

The other type of issue could be referred to as a "trope," but I'm not going to do that because I'm not entirely sure how to use that word correctly. Anyway, there are certain things that are consistent "flaws" in wrestling but ones that you have to ignore in order to enjoy the show. We all forget about these things when watching because actually thinking about the logic behind them would ruin the program.

So, today, I'm stealing JohnDosPassos2's gimmick and doing a Top V. These are five things that you'll need to ignore if you want to enjoy wrestling.

Why all of that Stuff is Under the Ring

When it comes to "foreign objects" in wrestling, most of them come from under the ring. We've all seen wrestlers pull chairs, ladders, tables, etc. out from under the ring to use them on their opponents. Some of this stuff makes sense. You can assume the chairs are there because that's where the ring crew puts the extras after they've set everything up. Ladders are probably used while putting up the set, so, sure, those make sense too. The fire extinguisher? It's there for safety.

But why tables? When would the ring crew use tables? The type of tables that are pulled out from under the ring aren't really ever seen anywhere else in the arena. So why are they there? And don't get me started on kendo sticks. Why on earth are those under the ring?

This issue isn't as glaring anymore in today's environment but, in the Attitude Era, it was common to find all kind of bizarre things under the ring inclding cookie sheets, stop signs, handcuffs, thumbtacks and more.

One theory is that the wrestlers sneak those items under the ring when no one is watching, but that doesn't really do it for me. Plus, if that's the case, why don't more wrestlers take items away before the show starts? I know if I was facing a guy who often hid kendo sticks under the ring, I'd find a way to remove them before the match started. Or I'd do something like empty out his thumbtacks bag and fill it with candy. That would be great, actually. Imagine Mick Foley pulling out a bag of what he assumes are thumbtacks and finding out that they've been replaced by delicious fruity Skittles.

Why Wait a Week to Resolve Issues they Could have Easily Handled Earlier?

Picture it: Wrestler A and Wrestler B have a tense moment in the ring. Maybe they're a tag team and Wrestler A accidentally punches Wrestler B in the face, costing the team the match. They then start arguing with one another.

Flash forward to next week's show and the two meet up again backstage to discuss what's happened. Or maybe Wrestler A "calls out" Wrestler B in the ring. Why did they wait so long to have this discussion? Sometimes wrestlers try to cover this flaw by saying something like "I've been trying to call you all week" but this doesn't often happen. We're supposed to just believe they waited an entire week to talk to one another, despite seeing each other frequently on the road.

Waiting for the next episode works on most "episodic television" shows because there's no set amount of time between episodes. The Walking Dead can end on a cliffhanger and come back six months later in the same moment as if no time has passed. But, in wrestling, we know that it's been one week between shows. Both wrestlers have left the arena, gone back to their hotels, and performed at several house shows in between episodes of Raw. Why did they wait until the next televised show to discuss their issue?

Why Anyone Discusses "Secret" Plans Backstage

We've all seen two heels scheming backstage hundreds of times. Why do they do this? At this point we all know that there are television cameras everywhere in the arena. Why would you "sneakily" enter someone else's locker room and assume that it wasn't just broadcast on live TV? And why do faces never use the information they've learned from these backstage moments to their benefit? Are the not watching the show?

Wrestlers only Slump over the Rope when they're Facing Rey Mysterio

Think about it: Have you ever seen a wrestler lay prone over the rope when they're not facing Rey Mysterio and about to eat a 619? The same is true for other moves. Why do wrestlers keep running when they're Irish whipped off of the ropes? Why do they bend over so deeply when Triple H kicks them in the stomach before Pedigree? Why do they get up and walk towards Shawn Michaels when they can hear him stomping to "tune up the band" before Sweet Chin Music?

Everything About Finishing Moves

Your finishing move is supposed to be the best move you have. It's the one you've practiced more than any other and you're so good at it that it nearly always ends the match. So why don't you try to hit it more often? I get that some moves require wearing down your opponent so that you can get them in a state where the move is possible, but what about moves like the RKO? If Orton can hit it "out of nowhere" why not do it whenever he can? Even if it's the first move of the match and it might not end the match, if it's your strongest move, why not try it as often as possible?

Like, when the Big Show's finisher was the WMD punch (or whatever, I have no idea, I don't pay attention to the Big Show) why didn't he use it fifty times in one match? There's basically no risk to trying it and if it fails, it's okay, you can just try again.

And why does each wrestler have a unique move? If the Stone Cold Stunner is effective and relatively easy to apply on nearly anyone, why doesn't half of the roster use it?


I understand why all of these things happen from a marketing or storytelling purpose and I'm fine with ignoring them in order to enjoy wrestling but, when you think about it, they kind of make no sense.

Top V: List of Wrestling Thanks for 2016

So here in the United States, we are rapidly approaching Thanksgiving. It's normally a time to give thanks for the people, events, and things in our lives.

And I do have a lot to be thankful about. I have my health, family, books, friends, and Rick --- who's promised me a sofa to sleep on in case things get even worse politically here in the US.

A little later, I'm going to do a list of grievances for 2016 (I think it should be a Top V, but it might have to be a Top X because 2016 has been the worst). But for now, let's pause and give thanks to the following great things about 2016 and wrestling.

1) The New Day's Wrestlemania Entrance

Listen, we can have a debate over whether or not The New Day has worn out their welcome (for the record, I believe that they are given poor material by the writing staff and that their characters should be given some adversity), but I think we can all agree that their "Cereal Box Entrance" was one of the highlights of a relatively dull Wrestlemania.

As a metaphor, I think we all want to have our "come out of a giant  box of cereal moment" and then have people cheer us doing so. Think about it. You know it's true.

2) Mondo Lucha in Milwaukee

I've gushed over Mondo Lucha before - such as in this blog post here Mondo Lucha - but I want to reiterate how much I enjoyed the experience of seeing a legitimately hot crowd and seeing a performance that, even for one night, reinvigorated my love of professional wrestling. I think as fans, what a lot of us are missing from the entertainment is either the element of surprise or the ability to "let ourselves go" and get wrapped up in the moment.

Again, and this is a preview of my grievance list, I've grown really tired of the need of fans to try and hijack shows - even at some independent wrestling events. But there wasn't that at Mondo Lucha. It was fans understanding their roles and embracing the moment.

3) Lesnar vs Goldberg

Speaking of the unexpected....

There have been a few moments this year where fans have been partially surprised: Sasha Banks's loss at SummerSlam -- uh......hmm...I thought there were others. Anyway, because so many of us are "dialed-in" to the seemingly endless array of news sites, rumor sites, and dirt sheets, wrestling fans seem to "know" what's going to happen before it happens.

While I cannot stand the McMahon family, nor their ideology or politics, I can emphasize with their struggles to surprise people when seemingly "everyone" knows what's going to happen next. And I think this knowledge makes being a wrestling fan that more tiresome.

As such, the squash match from last Sunday's Survivor Series was great. No one seemed to see it coming; sure, some people forecast a Goldberg win, but I cannot think of anyone who anticipated such a quick win. And sure, I was pissed at first --- but soon after, I started to appreciate the brilliance of this moment. It not only gives these characters something new and added depth, but it was also shocking. It was a moment where you sat there and thought "did I just see that?"

4) New Japan Pro Wrestling / Dramatic Dream Team Pro-Wrestling

As you can probably figure out, I've started to move away from the WWE as a source of my pro wrestling fandom and started to seek out alternatives. I've gone to more Indy shows, watched older regional territories, and fallen in love with Japanese wrestling. I even bought the t-shirt pictured above (and I rarely buy wrestling t-shirts).

I can't quite explain why I've fallen so hard for Japanese wrestling. Perhaps it's the fact that it's not the WWE; perhaps it's the fact the fans are not completely obsessed with hijacking every show they attend; perhaps it's the fact I adore many elements of Japanese culture. In any event, I've taken to watching older episodes of NJPW on Axis Tv (if you have Sling, you can watch!) as well as many clips online as I can (I haven't committed to buying their version of the WWE network ----- yet). Also, I'm buying a Tetsuya Naito t-shirt soon.

And what can I say about the ludicrousness and absurdity of DDT wrestling. I think at times wrestling fans can take the entertainment too seriously, and the legendary matches of this promotion throw water on that seriousness. If you haven't seen the KAT-TOO vs Honda / Dino match, here's a quick overview: SB Nation Japanese Comedy

5) Nakamura vs Zayn

If you know someone who isn't a wrestling fan, show them this match.

If you know someone who's a lapse wrestling fan, show them this match.

If you know someone who's a fan of theatre, but hates wrestling, show them this match.

Show everyone this match.

This, honestly, was the best match of the best show of the year. Watch this again. Eat cranberry sauce (homemade, not from a can dingus). Watch this again. Drink wine. Drink bourbon. Eat some pie. Give thanks for the good in wrestling.

Quick 2016 Survivor Series Recap Thoughts

So I watched Survivor Series tonight, but not live. I started at the beginning around 10pm and now it's like 2am. Anyway, like the nerd that I am, I took some notes throughout the night and here we are.


Survivor Series Elimination Match- Team Raw (Bayley, Alicia Fox, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks and Charlotte) w/Dana Brook vs. Team Smackdown (Becky Lynch, Naomi, Alexa Bliss, Carmella and Natalya)

There is certainly more star power on Raw, but Alexa Bliss surprisingly over. I liked Natalya coming in for Nikki Bella (and it was probably Natalya who attacked her), mostly because Canada.
Whenever Michael Cole isn't calling a match, I'm happy.

It's also really nice to see a real women's division with various storylines. I didn't think WWE could actually pull it off, but they did. I originally thought the women should all be on one show, but they've actually built up two entertaining divisions.

This was a well-booked match that I enjoyed.

The crowd is already starting to get smarky and annoying. I hate today's WWE crowds so much.

I expected a Natalya "Survivor Series Screwjob" whenever anyone attempted a sharpshooter.

My only issue was that they had the monster Nia Jax tap. I understand she wasn't going to win the match, but tapping looks much weaker than being pinned, in my opinion.

Charlotte's attack at the end was good and I hope this ends with Bayley taking the title at WrestleMania.

Good stuff all around in this match.

Hey, did you know that Fantasy Warfare Becomes Reality tonight?


WWE Intercontinental Championship Match- The Miz w/ Maryse (c) vs. Sami Zayn

Oh fuck Cole is back.

The Miz is a great heel. He gets booed for his heel work, which is rare these days. Adding to that tonight is that Sami Zayn is the perfect face.

It's so weird hearing the ACC cheer for the words "Montreal, Quebec, Canada."

Someone should tell the announcers that saying "prestigious intercontinental champion" over and over doesn't make it so.

The ending was an interesting variation on the "screwjob" that I thought worked. Miz and Maryse are so great.

Michael Cole: "I think Maryse rung the bell!" when she was clearly on camera ringing the bell. He's the worst.


Survivor Series Elimination Match – Team Raw (Enzo and Cass, The Shining Stars, The Club, Sheamus and Cesaro & The New Day) w/Xavier Woods vs. Team Smackdown (Heath Slater and Rhyno, Breezango, The Usos, The Hype Bros & American Alpha)

Enzo and Cass needed more Drake references, imo.

I want to like Sheamus, but... I just can't for some reason.

Cesaro struggling to get his suit off was funnier than it should have been to me.

I don't care. I still don't like Heath Slater.

The Uso heel turn was a great move for them. They're really good heels. And how annoying are the Hype Bros? Most of Team Smackdown is super annoying in this one.

I'll be honest. I skipped most of this match. The Cesaro 619 was good.

Crowd, stop with the fucking "10" thing holy fuck. You guys are terrible.

So Smackdown definitely wins the remaining elimination match, right?

WWE Cruiserweight Championship- Brian Kendrick (c) vs. Kalisto 

THE Brian Kendrick is great. But why doesn't it say "the" in his on screen graphics?

I really dig how they redo the ring and everything for cruiserweight matches.

Mauro Ranallo and Corey Graves make a good commentary team.

Oh God Baron Corbin... STOP TRYING TO MAKE BARON CORBIN HAPPEN.

I still think the cruiserweight division would make more sense on Smackdown, especially due to Daniel Bryan and Mauro Ranallo being there.


Survivor Series Elimination Match- Team Smackdown (Shane McMahon, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, AJ Styles & Dean Ambrose) w/James Ellsworth vs. Team Raw (Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens) 

Jericho having a subtitle of "Kevin's Best Friend" during the video is so great.

I'll admit that I don't really watch the weekly WWE shows, so I don't know or get what the James Ellsworth thing is.

The Undertaker should have taken Shane's place in this match. Having the commissioner fill a spot on the team makes it look like Smackdown doesn't have enough guys to field a team.

Why didn't AJ come out last for his team? He's the WWE World Champion.

At least they're not pretending that Braun Strowman and Bray Wyatt have no history. In the past, they would have ignored their history completely.

Rollins wearing a half and half shirt is great .

I'm so bored with people booing Roman Reigns. He's a perfectly good upper card wrestler. He's the US Champion and he's not in many main events these days. Booing him like crazy is just so old and tired now. He's entertaining and there's no reason for the hate any longer. Crowds are the worst.

Speaking of which, outside of Roman (technically) does Raw have any faces?

A little thing at the beginning that I liked was Strowman ripping off his Raw shirt right as Owen's put his on.

"Fantasy Warfare Just Got Real"

One of the commentators said that this is the "Home of the Maple LEAVES."

Did they forget the Jericho/AJ feud? And here I was giving them credit for remembering the past.

Maybe they need to do more storylines about the former members of the Shield and how they were "one of the greatest groups ever" and now they broke up.

JBL is especially terrible tonight. Like, when did Raw have the Gobbledygooker, JBL?? Is all WWE history Raw history now?

"IF your commissioner wasn't such an egomaniac he'd be out here!?" "Our commissioner is Stephanie McMahon." 

Strowman is boring. This match is boring. Maybe it's because I'm watching it at 1am. I don't know. At least the way Strowman was eliminated kept him looking strong, unlike Nia Jax's elimination in the first match.

At least Ellsworth didn't hit those Pizzaiolo and Pizza Nova boxes when he went off the stage. They make good pizza.

The Shane McMahon elimination was weird. Why did they cut to some random shot of a woman in the crowd right before Shane was counted down for three? Did Shane accidentally kick out? They never showed the replay. What happened there?

If they wanted to mention the Shield 300 times, Dean Ambrose should have helped triple power bomb AJ through a table with Roman and Rollins. Oh. He did. Okay! That would have been a cooler moment if they didn't mention the Shield a million times. You could see it coming as soon as he came back out. Drop the Shield references now.

If Orton joined the Wyatt Family, who does he look, dress and act exactly like Randy Orton always does?

I was really hoping that Reigns would win the match single-handedly because people would have been so mad. At this point, I just want this crowd to be upset. But they'd probably chant "holy shit", "this is awesome" or "10" even if they were.

JBL yelled " RAW WINS! RAW WINS!" as the match ended and then tried to cover for it. He's terrible.

Does Erick Rowan still exist?


"Fantasy Warfare Just Got Real."

Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs. Goldberg

Goldberg's locker room walk is cool. The security has never made sense to me, but whatever.

At least Lesnar is being treated like a heel by the crowd. Goldberg is super over.

Holy shit. A squash. WOW.

I can see that being disappointed because it was so hyped up but, man, I'm excited. What a shock.
I have no idea why this happened or how this happened or what, but man. I feel like I'm probably in the minority here, but I liked that booking. The crowd was happy about it. They didn't chant "bullshit" or "refund" or anything.

When I realized that there were only a few minutes left in the show and the match hadn't started yet, I assumed that Lesnar had squashed Goldberg and I was ready to be pissed off about it. This was much better.

This is shocking. This is a WCW guy getting a huge send off by WWE and getting to destroy Lesnar, who has been unstoppable for years. It was fun to watch and it will certainly create a buzz.


I didn't need to see Bill Goldberg's son shirtless though.

An Ode to Survivor Series Team Names

It's November and, in addition to the potential end of society as we know it, that means it's nearly time for Survivor Series!

I'm going to be honest and say that I haven't watched much WWE programming in months, but that I have renewed my Network subscription for Survivor Series. Not only is it airing from my hometown of Toronto, but I just love Survivor Series. Looking at the card, it should be a good show.

Now, I understand the reasoning for the all of the "Team Raw" vs "Team SmackDown" matches and that's all fine and good, but I can't help but miss the Survivor Series team names of yesteryear. They haven't had really good team names in many, many years (Instead settling for "Team [BLANK]" at least 99% of the time) so this is an ode to the days of more creative naming.

Here are a few of my favourite Survivor Series team names.

The Visionaries 
Rick Martel, The Warlord and Power and Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) (with Slick) 
Survivor Series 1990

The best part of this team name is that it's designed to mock his opponent. If you're not familiar with 1990 in WWF, you might not know that Rick Martel "blinded" Jake The Snake Roberts by spraying his "Arrogance" cologne into Roberts' eyes. Jake Roberts was the captain of the opposing team ("The Vipers") in this match and thus Rick Martel named his team "The Visionaries" because (get it?) he could see. And his opponent couldn't.

Oh 1990, you were a different time.

The Rude Brood
Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond Rougeau)
Survivor Series 1989

There's just something about the name "Rude Brood" that I like. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good rhyme. Also, just look at that photo. Really look at it. Imagine showing someone this photo the next time you say "I like professional wrestling."


Roddy's Rowdies
Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka and The Bushwhackers (Butch and Luke)
Survivor Series 1989

Facing off against the Rude Brood at Survivor Series 1989 was "Roddy's Rowdies." Isn't it strange to see Roddy Piper teaming with Jimmy Snuka? I don't remember how this came to be, to be honest.


The Foreign Fanatics
Yokozuna, Ludvig Borga, and The Quebecers (Jacques and Pierre)
Survivor Series 1993

Pierre was "injured" before this event and so Crush took his place. Nothing says "Foreign" like having a guy from Hawaii on your team. The main reason I love this team so much is because it has "Evil Man From Finland" Ludvig Borga on it. He had an incredible gimmick because, when you think of foreign power invading the United States with cruelty and violence, you definitely think of Finland. Cruel, imposing Finland.

The opposing team was the "All Americans" but Tatanka was also "injured" and so his spot was taken by The Undertaker, who was suddenly really proud to be an American.

Or at least a fan of the original 13 colonies. I have no idea why both of these teams had injury replacements. Maybe the original line-up wasn't enough of a draw.

Yes, this match was the main event of the show somehow.


The Teamsters 
Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart and Jeff Jarrett
Survivor Series 1994

Okay, not only is it super weird to see Jim Neidhart, Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett teaming with Shawn Michaels and Diesel, but the team is named after a labour union. Get it? Because "Diesel" is the character's name and also the fuel that powers trucks! Get it? GET IT!?

What was Good About the "Attitude Era" and What Wasn't

The WWF's "Attitude Era" is held in great regard. WWE 13 was basically sold on "Hey, remember when you liked wrestling? We have that in a game!" If you have the WWE Network, you'd be forgiven if you thought that the "Attitude Era" was the only era in company history. Between the Monday Night Wars show (which is quite good, if not repetitive) to the "classic clips" that they choose to show to whatever it is that Jerry Springer hosts, the Attitude Era is all over the place. Sometimes it's the only thing people focus on.

This is heightened by the fact that you can't watch or read anything about wrestling on the internet without hearing "this would have been so much better in the Attitude Era."

As a teenager in that era, I was the target market. I had a DX shirt that said "Suck It" on the back that my mom wouldn't let me wear to school. I loved watching Sable as much as any other straight teenage boy. I thought it was super cool when Mankind flew off of the Hell in a Cell.

That said, the Attitude Era wasn't perfect.

However, before I get to that, I want to go over a few things that were great about the era. I don't want to get all "grumpy old man" right off the bat, so here are some positives:

Everyone Had Storylines

Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock were the big stars of the Attitude Era. But so was Mankind, Triple H, Kane, The Undertaker, the New Age Outlaws, Edge and Christian, the Hardy Boyz, The Dudleyz, Chris Jericho, and various others. Any one of those people could have main evented a pay-per-view and done well. That's a lot of guys to be stars all at once. Was the WWF simply blessed with a strong roster at the time? Yes and no.

Austin and Rock were definitely generational stars and franchise players. The Undertaker was already a legend. Mick Foley was a great personality and so were many of the others. But the reason they were all so big? They all had storylines.

The Attitude Era wasn't just Austin versus McMahon. It was also Austin versus Rock. And Rock versus Foley. And The Nation versus DX. And The Hardyz vs the Dudleyz vs Edge and Christian. And Trish versus Lita. And The Undertaker vs Kane. And many, many other feuds.

And those were just the main ones. People like Val Venis, Al Snow, The Godfather, Goldust, Big Boss Man, Big Show, The Brood, D-Lo Brown, and nearly everyone else also had storylines. Some of them were downright awful (we'll get to that later) but they all had them.

Promos Before Matches

This might just be my personal preference, but I loved how so many wrestlers got to do brief promos before matches. Whether it be the Godfather's "Hooooooooo Train!" bit or Val Venis' "Hellloooo Ladies!" stuff, they all got them. Not only did this give the wrestlers a chance to differentiate themselves and show some personality, but it also created several catchphrases and crowd participation moments.

It also got people over.

Where would the New Age Outlaws have been without "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages...."? Triple H without "Let's get ready to suck it!!!!!"? Edge and Christian without the five-second pose? The Rock without his millions and millions of catchphrases?

Shades of Grey

This is an overdone point because there were still heels and faces in the Attitude Era, but the fact that someone turning face didn't immediately make them best friends with the other faces was great. The Rock and Austin and Mankind were all faces at the same time at some point and, while this meant that they weren't always at each other's throats, they also weren't instantly buddies either. It was more realistic.

And now.... what was bad.

Sex and Violence

Let's get this out of the way right away. Obviously I am not 100% against sex and violence. As a teenager, I was certainly not against sex and violence. However, there is a problem with how often the WWF used these two "cheap pops" during the era.

The main problem? You always have to do more.

Sable taking off her top and wearing a handprint bikini was certainly shocking when it first happened. So was The Rock nearly killing Mick Foley with chairshots. But where can you go from there? The next step is full nudity (I'm looking at you, The Kat) and Foley flying off of the cell. And then what?

Ummm... maybe Mae Young gets naked and Jeff Hardy throws himself off of something high? And then Shane McMahon throws himself off of something higher? And Kane sets himself on fire? And then what?

WWF used sex and violence so much during the Attitude Era that we were all completely numb to it. If a match didn't have Foley falling on thumbtacks while someone ripped off Trish's clothes, we didn't care. That's what made it bad. (That and the obvious sexism of the "Divas" being in bra and panties matches, and gravy bowl matches, and mud matches, and swimming pool matches, and spanking matches, and pillow fights, and....)

To modern audiences, the Attitude Era looks incredibly tasteless. And, to an extent, it was tasteless even back then. There was sexism, stereotyping, and cruel jokes all over the place. Calling someone "gay" was a top insult. It looks really, really bad now, but I'll let SOME of it slide due to the fact that it was nearly 20 years ago. But that doesn't mean it was good. It was still way too much.

They Still had "Other Jobs"

Modern WWE loves to make fun of the days when a lot of wrestlers had "other jobs" like a garbage man or a hockey player or a tax man. But they didn't exactly drop that idea completely when they got to the Attitude Era. They just made it more "xtreme," which was the style at the time.

Big Boss Man was still a cop. Val Venis was a porn star. The Godfather was a pimp. They also had bikers and Latino gang members and a wrestling vampire. Some of the gimmicks may have been more realistic in the era, but some people were still basically cartoon characters. Just edgy ones.

The Wrestling was Actually Pretty Bad

There aren't very many "classic" Attitude Era matches. Now, that could be okay because the focus was on the storytelling much of the time, but it's worth noting. WWF didn't start putting on classic matches on a regular basis until guys like Kurt Angle showed up and Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit and Eddie Guererro came over from WCW.

The Attitude Era was known for two-minute garbage matches and people getting hit with stuff. It also created such all-time classics as the Inferno Match, the Kennel from Hell, and much more. If you liked seeing guys hit each other with garbage cans and cookie sheets (which were always under the ring, for some reason) then the Attitude Era was for you!

But, truthfully, even those who liked that style got sick of it after they saw it 300 times.

Kick. Wham. Stunner.

People these days get upset when someone like John Cena or Roman Reigns wins all the time. But what about Steve Austin? Whenever there was an Austin segment or match you could have bet money on it ending with "kick, wham, Stunner" and Austin drinking beer. It happened way too often. And that's not me being a bitter old man and looking back and getting upset. It bothered me at the time too. You knew that, even if Vince McMahon managed to hurt Austin somewhat, it was eventually going to end with a Stunner and a beer bath.

Now, I'm not saying that it's bad to have your top face come out as the victor in the end, but it would have been nice to see him do it in a slightly different way from time-to-time.

Terrible Storylines

When you combine "everyone has a storyline" with "everything is sex and violence" you get things like Chyna setting Mark Henry up with a 'friend' who ended up being a crossdresser only to have him find out and yell "A PENIS!" while they were making out.

That actually happened.

And that wasn't all. The Attitude Era also gave us Big Boss Man cooking Al Snow's dog and serving it to him, Mae Young giving birth to a hand, Kai En Tai's "choppy choppy your pee pee," Billy Gunn being "Mr. Ass" and having THIS theme song, the Undertaker trying to embalm Steve Austin alive, Beaver Cleavage, Droz being Hawk's drug dealer and then pushing him off of the stage during his suicide attempt, Trish barking like a dog, and much more.

The constant need to "be shocking" created some of the worst storylines known to man. This need also led to my next point.

Heel and Face Turns All Over the Place

Some heel turns were classics. The Rock pretending to turn face while he was actually working with McMahon worked out great when the whole plan was revealed at Survivor Series 1998. So was Triple H rejoining Chyna only to turn on X-Pac and join the Corporation at WrestleMania 15. But the need to shock created "swerves" all over the place and it got really confusing. How many times did Kane and the Undertaker split up and then reunite? Or what about Vince and Shane? And that brings us to.....

The McMahon Problem Began

This peaked at WrestleMania 16's "McMahon in Every Corner" match. Rather than just have The Rock versus Triple H for the WWF title like everyone wanted, the WWF went all in on the McMahon family drama. And they did this A LOT.

Shane and Vince broke up and got back together so many times you'd think they were a high school relationship. And it got old really, really fast. Remember the "Higher Power?" Shane McMahon had FINALLY got one up on his dad when he took over the Corporation and then merged it with the Ministry of Darkness and then.... Vince was the leader all along. I've honestly forgotten how many times the McMahon's feuded and got back together and it's probably because my memory blocked it out.

The worst part? The McMahon family drama continued FOR YEARS! What did the Invasion end up as? Vince versus Shane and Stephanie. The Brand Split? Shane versus Stephanie. It happened over and over and over and over and over so many times that it's lost all meaning.

The Bottom Line

The Attitude Era had a lot of great moments. It was entertaining. You were rarely bored watching. But that doesn't mean there weren't issues. It also doesn't mean that adding some "omg blood and boobies" to today's product would instantly make it better.

I'd like to see the modern WWE adapt some of the good Attitude Era concepts to their shows today. However, in the age of the brand split, three-hour Raws and "special events" every two weeks, that might not be possible.

Top V Promos: Celebrity Edition - The Good, the Bad, the Brilliant

Let me start this edition of Top V, with a controversial statement: Celebrities and wrestling go together like peanut butter and jelly.

*hears other wrestling fans angrily typing comments or tweeting at me*

No, seriously. Let's all calm down and approach this rationally. Yes, that also applies to you over there in Ryback t-shirt. Put down the chair. Yes, we can all "feed you more" after we are done here.

Like most fan subcultures, professional wrestling fans tend to vacillate between continually pleading for other people to respect or embrace wrestling, and condemning anyone who is either new to pro wrestling or any attempt to broaden its appeal. I see this frequently with hockey where fans bemoan the lack of national media coverage of the NHL (i.e. ESPN), but voice resentment toward newer fans and / or are openly hostile to any change by the NHL to grow the game.

In the world of professional wrestling fandom, such a dichotomy is perhaps best illustrated by a vocal resentment toward moments when celebrities from other media or entertainment enter the arena (both literally speaking and figuratively speaking). Case in point: at last year's Summer Slam, Jon Stewart was roundly booed by the audience in Brooklyn for his involvement in a match (at some point, Rick_City or I or both of us will write a piece on our general annoyance with wrestling fans).

I suppose if one thinks of wrestling simply as a fictional universe, then celebrities involvement can be be understood as a violation of the "rules" that the wrestling universe has established. I mean I hated cross-over cartoons as a kid, so I understand the reaction of "Jay Leno isn't in this universe!" Of course, professional wrestling has never really demonstrated any respect for its own rules, so I think people need to calm down a bit. Additionally, if one takes a look at the history of professional wrestling, celebrity involvement has long been a norm as promoters have tried to get local or national media attention to their product. And that's not going to change anytime soon.

So I decided to list the Top V celebrity promos in this post. I'm not necessarily considering these the best, but the most memorable in my estimation. Some are good, some are bizarre, but all point to the benefits of the occasional celebrity involvement.

By the way, Jerry Lawler figures prominently in this list.

5) Jon Stewart

First, can we all agree that we miss Jon Stewart? I've tried watching Trevor Noah and while I understand he has immense shoes to fill, but The Daily Show isn't the same. A good part of that reason is that Stewart was able to balance his outrage at news stories with a self-deprecating nature and an absurdist comic perspective.

So when Stewart had a feud with Seth Rollins in 2015, his skills at performing rage and being absurd came in quite handy. The clip above - which has been edited by the WWE for reasons ((I suspect because one of Stewart's original lines was mocking Rollins's Curb Stomp ("I'm from Jersey - that's how we greet each other for brunch.") and because I have a sneaking suspicion that Stewart referenced Brunno Sanmartino and the WWE still has a weird relationship with the legend)) - illustrates this. Not only does Stewart deliver his lines skillfully, but he also hams it up with "are you guys going to the wrap party?" And in addition, that's a solid kick to the crotch.

4) Dennis Rodman

Of all the celebrites to actually appear in the squared circle, one can make an argument that Dennis Rodman was perhaps the most athletically able in the ring. Go back and watch his tag-team match-up with Hulk Hogan against DDP and Karl Malone. Both he and Malone perform far better in the ring (in limited skill-sets of course) than I think most people anticipated. Indeed, I actually think that there's a lot to like about Rodman's run in WCW and I think it should be studied by bookers as a way to effectively integrate a celebrity into a storyline.

On the other hand, I also think Rodman's involvement reflects the cheapest and most cynical attitudes of the professional wrestling business. In a future post, I might analyze the racial overtones of mid-1990s celebrity involvement in both WCW and WWE. It's hard not to see in Rodman's WCW vignettes (as well as Mike Tyson and Lawrence Taylor's in the WWE) a stark undertone of racial other-ing at play.

But I think the best Rodman promo is pre-NWO when he appeared with Hulk Hogan at Bash at the Beach in 1995. To promote this event, a number of WCW stars had appeared on an episode of Baywatch (and someone may be doing a blog post on that next -- hint, hint) and Hogan lured Rodman to appear with him at the event.

What's great about this promo is A) Rodman's slap of Hogan's cheek (and who here among us hasn't wanted to slap Hogan), B) Hogan's response to the slap, and C) Rodman's completely incoherent promo. I've seriously listened to this five times in a row and I still cannot figure out what he's saying. And to be honest, I love that.

3) William Shatner

Rick_City is a good Canadian boy, and in an effort to appease him (because I might need a place to crash for a few months / years if Trump somehow wins the election), I'm putting good Canadian boy William Shatner on this list.

Shatner - or Shatner as I call him - has appeared a few times on WWE programming; most recently, he was a guest GM of Raw where he filmed this impressive segment where he parodied his infamous album of music covers. It's still the funniest thing the WWE has intentionally produced in years (and I would say 90 percent of the WWE's humor can be described, at best, as tone-deaf).

But I'm going to go with his feud with Jerry "The King" Lawler in 1995. Shatner's television series - TekWar - was being broadcast on the USA Network after Monday Night Raw, and he appeared on WWE programming that night to promote the short-lived series. Apparently, Lawler had been making comments about Shatner on the build-up to this confrontation and, Shatner responds in this clip above. Like Stewart, Shatner embraces both the absurdity of the moment and its cheesiness: his line reading of "if you'll forgive the expression, Warp Speed" is perfect in its unabashed lameness and his declaration that "I'm here to promote Tek War!" is somehow both the saddest thing and the best thing ever.

By the way, there's a longer video embedded on the WWE site where we actually see Shatner confront Lawler: Shatner again calls Lawler's the King's Court the "home of the Whopper," and then throws the former-Memphis star out of the ring. Then Bret Hart appears because Canada, that's why.

2) Batman meets Super-King

I really, really, really wanted to make this number 1.

As a kid, my first real exposure to camp, irony, and theatre of the absurd was the 1960s Batman series, featuring Adam West. One could write thousands of words on the brilliance of the show, but for now I want to focus on Adam West - or "Adam West." With the exception of William Shatner - who's also on this list because it's my list dammit - there is not another actor who blurs the line between himself and his persona more effectively. Where does "Adam West" the character begin and where does Adam West the person end? I have no idea. And while I'm mentioning it, let's discuss his brilliant cameo on The Simpsons "Mr. Plow" episode (I honestly say "Pure West" at least once a week). Or his legendary pilot Lookwell that he made with Conan O'Brien and Robert Schimgel.

Anyway, so in 1976 "Adam West," or Adam West, or both, went to Memphis and appeared on Mid-South Wrestling's Saturday morning television show. West / Batman was appearing at a local car show (I presume with the Batmobile in tow) and....well, you should watch the clip first.

Some stray observations:
-West is drunk yes?
-What is Lawler's box?
-Why?
-Supe?
-Why is Batman wearing a track-suit?
-Why doesn't Batman dance anymore?
-Why?

Actually, it's probably best if you don't ask questions about this and just think of it as an absurdist performance piece with Brechtian overtones. That's how I'm thinking about it anyway.

1) Andy Kaufman

Okay, there's no way this could not be number one.

As a college student, I cannot tell you how many times I watched a documentary on Comedy Central about Andy Kaufman's life (I swear the station aired it at least four times a week). Contained in this documentary was an in-depth account of Kaufman's feud with Jerry Lawler in Mid-South Wrestling during the late 1970s and early 1980s. And I found it fascinating that Kaufman would engage in this feud in Memphis during what was - for all intents and purposes - the height of his fame.

I'm not sure I can dedicate enough space to explaining the brilliance of this narrative: both men challenge each other's manhood, they both claim to be kings of the ring, they both threaten to sue each other, and they brought a lot of attention to Memphis wrestling (there's also chicken costumes, double-crosses, pile-drivers, and phone promos). And of course, they contributed to the greatest moment on Late Night with David Letterman (which I've included above).

It's also difficult to pick just one promo of this feud to focus on as there are some gems: I've always been drawn to Kaufman's personal grooming tips for the Memphis fans - everyone should use soap and ladies should use razors (it's classic cheap-heat stuff, but it works). But I've selected this clip above which deals with the after-effects of Lawler using flash-paper in Kaufman's face - which I think took place after a short-lived truce between the two men (honestly, it is a bit hard to follow the narrative).

But what makes this promo stand out to me is that if you ignore the fact that Kaufman is a comic and an actor - he makes mention of all the scripts he's had to turn down because of Lawler's actions and the subsequent damage to his face - this would work as a solid wrestling promo. In the end, that's what makes this celebrity involvement so memorable and important. It's not just that Kaufman and Lawler sold this rivalry like crazy - hell, the Letterman stunt was probably the first "viral" video - it's also the fact that Kaufman committed to this feud in ways that no other celebrity has. And to be perfectly honest, is that not what we as wrestling fans want? We want people to "like my sport" and take our entertainment seriously.  Reflecting on this list, these are moments where the "outsiders" embrace their roles (no matter how brief) and in the process, bring attention to professional wrestling in ways that with a few exceptions, most wrestlers and promoters are not able to do on their own.

So wrestling fans, let's stop the hate toward the occasional celebrity entering the ring provided that they commit to their role? And let's be honest: the more attention celebrities bring, the better off professional wrestling (and entertainment) is. I mean when has this combination gone wrong?

Photo courtesy Fox Sports

Oh fuck.